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Gwen Stefani, Harper's Bazaar Cover

Harper's Bazaar

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We were not prepared when we woke up this morning.

Unsuspecting, we fixed our usual fashionista breakfast of mango water and celery spores. We boiled it all up and inhaled the fumes, per Tracy Anderson's specific directions. We opened our email.

And there was Gwen Stefani on the cover of Harper's Bazaar in—you may want to sit down for this—pink lipstick.

Gwen Stefani, Harper's Bazaar

Harper's Bazaar

We mean, she looks great and everything—love the Alexis Mabille Couture hat and adore the dresses by Jil Sander, McQueen, the Row and Versace—and the shade of lipstick is, of course, divine.

But...but...It's not her trademark red. It's not Gwen.

It's like waving the stars without the stripes. Like papping Katie Holmes without Suri Cruise.

Gwen Stefani, Harper's Bazaar

Harper's Bazaar

It's like LeAnn Rimes leaving the house without posting a photo of herself on Twitter. It's like...

Pass the mango water. We're not sure we can handle this.