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Since nearly every one of you managed to extract the XXX humor from an innocent product intended to bring joy to children, we've selected our reigning champion straight from the toy department, in hopes of keeping the purity and sound moral values of this contest alive!

Unicorn Horn

Rachael Reames: Sorry ladies, Batteries not included.

Congratulations!! You won't need to fabricate any evidence of having won this contest once you receive your limited edition Soup t-shirt, handspun from unicorn bangs, and intended to bewilder non-believers for years to come. Nicely done!