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True Blood Recap: New Vampire Regime Wants Blood!

TRUE BLOOD John P. Johnson/HBO

Last week we were left wondering if the season's big bad vampire Roman (Chris Meloni) was really dead. Sadly, the answer is yes. But this splattering turn of events opens the door to the Vampire religion the show has been getting at for weeks. And the new vampire gang falls under a whole new spell. (No witches, we promise!)

But you think it's all about old vamps and bloody massacres? Nope. That's only the start of this seriously crazy episode of True Blood.

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WHAT WE LEARNED

Fae Free: It looks like there is a get-out-of-fairy-life-free card, Sookie's (Anna Paquin) powers aren't never-ending. But that's a good thing. Her debilitating—yet sometimes helpful—powers could be depleted, and she is determined to help them along.

Bad Romance: Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and Jason (Ryan Kwanten) sure know how to fight dirty. What started as a nice heart-to-heart, ended with fang marks and a bullet to the head. That was a little below-the-belt, Jason. But we think these crazy kids can work it out. Plus, Jessica might need Jason on her side if Hoyt (Jim Parrack) has really joined the Merry Men and their supernatural killing squad.

Road Tripping: Partying in New Orleans with Russell Edgington (Denis O'Hare) sounds really awesome, until it isn't. After tripping on Lilith blood, the new vampire friends head to the Big Easy. Between a bloodbath and bodies, the often-talked-about Lillith comes out of a CGI blood puddle and roars. And then she compels them all to drink more. All hope looks lost until Godric (Allan Hyde)—our favorite maker and acting conscience for Eric (Alexander Skarsgård)—pushes Eric in the right direction. Just stay with us forever, Godric. 

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Heads Will Roll: Why Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) would ever go back to crazy Don Bartolo's (Del Zamora) house, we have no clue. We watch a lot of TV, and some very gory TV at that, but nothing could prepare us for a stitched-shut mouth. A massacre in a New Orleans bar is fine, but we have to draw the line at needlework. But all's well that ends well—and that young wife (who has been pregnant for about 30 months) killed Jesus' crazy grandfather. Good riddance. 

Smoke Monster: In a meadow, Scott Foley—we're sure his character has a real name—gives Terry (Todd Lowe) an interesting racist pep talk when Terry wants to give up the fight against the vengeful smoke monster. But he does bring up Terry's  Achilles heel, his kids.

Rewind Moment: Did Pam look proud after Tara told her mother where she could go? We love Pam's approach to motherhood. 

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ONE-LINERS

"F--k you I'm depleting."—Sookie

"Let's just plug her in and charge her back up."—Jason

"Bygones, it's olive branch time."—Russell

"OK, break's over."—Pam

"I'm like a tree in the wind. I'm just so happy to be included."—Reverend Newlin

"Your heartbeat smells like s--t and your blood smells even worse."—Eric

Wow, wasn't that crazy? Can Eric overcome the Lilith bloodlust? Will Sookie regret depleting her powers for good? Sound off in the comments! 

PHOTOS: True Blood: Season Five

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