Not since Harry Potter and Hogwarts has one pupil attending one institution been so newsworthy.
But after all, this is Suri Cruise we're talking about, the only begotten daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, and wherever this 6-year-old goes (no, seriously: the museum, gymnastics class, the pet store, you name it, wherever she goes) the news cycle follows.
And while it's just Suri that'll be sitting in the Upper East Side classroom of the Convent of the Sacred Heart come fall, it might as well be all of us, right? So, what can we she expect? Forget reading, writing and 'rithmetic, what we want to know about is uniforms, boys and all the rest.
So, here's everything you need to know about Suri's foray into big-girl school:
• It's a Cootie-Free Zone: No boys allowed! The Roman Catholic all-girls school is indeed a fella-free environment, and come the 2012-2013 academic school year, Suri will be one of approximately 690 pupils enrolled in the institution, which spans pre-kindergarten through 12th grade. The grades themselves are divided into three levels, Lower School, Middle School and Upper School, and Suri will of course be joining the Lower School.
• It Costs a Pretty Penny: Should Suri stay at Sacred Heart through her high school years, her brain will be worth a whopping $471,180. Give or take. That's because one year's enrollment in grades 1-12 at the institution will set mama and papa back a cool $39,265. Hands up if you're feeling inadequate right about now.
• To Oui or Not to Oui: Sacred Heart introduces both French and Spanish in kindergarten. Once students have advanced all the way to first grade, they'll choose one of the two to pursue all the way through grade 12. Oh, but fear not: Latin is introduced in grade 7, and once they're in Upper School, they can branch out further into Arabic, Greek or Mandarin. Pardon our French, but sacre bleu.
• Making the Grade: With tuition like that, rest assured, this ain't no Mickey Mouse curriculum. The school's reputation as one of the most prestigious and selective schools in the city is well-earned. There is an average of 50 girls per grade, and the student to faculty ration is an impressive 7:1. That's some hands-on learning. In addition to the language courses, the Lower School academic program also fosters writing skills, problem-solving and logical thinking exercises, math and creative expression, as well as instruction in both the visual and performing arts. Why do we get the feeling Suri's going to excel in that last one?
• Bye-Bye, Fashionista: Yes, indeed, the bane of fashion-conscious private schoolchildren everywhere will befall our dear Suri, and her education's gain is Fashion Police Jr.'s loss. Come September, she'll be one of the uniformed elite, as the Lower School children are required to wear crisp, Peter Pan-collared short-sleeved white blouses (with red trim!), button-down jumper and white and red pinafore (so kicky are their uniforms that they even merited a mention in the Gossip Girl book series).
• State of the Arts: Quick stats coming at ya: Sacred Heart contains three science labs, two gyms, three performance spaces, a darkroom studio, rooftop playground, three libraries and a soon-to-open state-of-the-art athletic and wellness center. It also issues iPads to every student in grades 8-12 and contains SMARTboards and Apple TVs in all classrooms. Additionally, for Suri's school level, more than 40 extracurriculars are available through the school year.
• WWJD: Dad's a Scientologist and mom's a registered member of the St. Francis Xavier parish in New York, and that's just fine with Sacred Heart. Only 65 percent of their students are Catholic, and the first of their stated mission goals is to "commit themselves to educate a personal and active faith in God."
• She's in Esteemed Company: While Suri is undoubtedly the most famous student currently enrolled in the school, she's hardly the first boldfaced name to grace their halls. Just take a gander at some of these attendees: Lady Gaga, Nicky Hilton, Caroline Kennedy, Jordana Brewster, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, Elaine Stritch and Gloria Vanderbilt. And special shout-out to rising senior-turned-London Olympics-bound Lia Neal, who will be joining Natalie Coughlin-Hall in the women's 4x100 meter freestyle relay swim team later this month.