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True Blood Recap: Which Vampire Met the True Death?

TRUE BLOOD John P. Johnson/HBO

Things just got real. Really crazy that is! Our favorite bloodthirsty vampire Russell Edgington (Denis O'Hare) is back. And he's hungry and hilarious and very very dangerous.

With Russell Edgington in The Authority's clutches will Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) be getting the true death or a ticker tape parade? And will Sookie (Anna Paquin) hang up her fairy wings and embrace the white picket fence life? 

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WHAT WE LEARNED

Pack Problems: Maybe we don't give Alcide (Joe Manganiello) enough credit for being pretty smart, but he realized pretty quickly what Russell being back meant for the werewolf pack. So naturally he's accepted his role as pack master. That'll be a nice smooth transition, we are sure of it.

Natural Born Killers: Werewolves aren't the only ones having pack problems, Sam (Sam Trammell) and very-much-alive Luna (Janina Gavankar) are encountering shifter issues. Meaning someone is trying to kill all the shifters. Bad news.  So this is the human vs. vampire war we've heard talk about is clearly a human vs. supernatural creature war. No discrimination hen it comes to supes.

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Simple Kind of Life: It's not just Sookie who dreams of a vampire-less simple life. Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is absolutely heartbreaking talking to his (hottie) father and reminiscing about being called "Champ" by dear old dad. But if Sookie and Jason really think going to find a fairy burlesque club to simplify their lives they are truly crazy.

Roman vs. Russell: Well that was an iPhone app fail if we've ever seen one. We were not expecting the little turn around with Russell gaining the upper hand against Roman (Chris Meloni). And Roman getting a stake to the heart was a bit of a shock. But is he dead dead? Seems awfully early in the season to say goodbye to a high-profile guest star like Meloni.

Rewind Moment: Was it our imagination or were Eric and Alcide about to make out right before Eric glamoured him? Oh, it was just our imagination? Shucks.

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ONE-LINERS

"You did good out there fighting. Made me proud. Proud the way a human is proud of a well trained dog." —Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten)

"And you will always protect Sookie, with your life. But you'll keep your hands off her, romantically speaking. She kind of disgusts you." —Eric

"Enough with this religious bulls--t already. Lilith can f--king b--w me." —Eric

"Did you just recoil from me? F--king Eric." —Sookie

"Girl, come to think of it, every man I have ever dated or married, has had some sort of secret ball of pain that they keep all to themselves." —Arlene (Carrie Preston)

Are you ready to see Russell take the world by storm? Think Sookie can ever be truly normal? Did you love Eric's protective side? Sound off in the comments!

PHOTOS: True Blood: Season Five

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