John P. Johnson/HBO
John P. Johnson/HBO
Where were we? Oh, that's right! In the last episode of True Blood, Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Alcide (Joe Manganiello) were drunkenly hooking up while her exes watched from the porch. Not creepy at all, actually a rather typical day in Bon Temps.
Fortunately for us True Blood fans—and admirers of Joe Manganiello's abs—the latest episode jumps right back into the action.
WHAT WE LEARNED
What's Up Supes?: Bon Temps has a long tradition of supernatural creatures. But recently (for the last five seasons) supernatural creatures are dropping like flies. But don't fret, Deputy Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is on the case. He wants to find out just how far back these supernatural murders go. P.S. Tonight we saw something we never knew we wanted to see: Jason in footed pajamas.
Learning Curve: Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) has to teach Tara (Rutina Wesley) a lot of lessons about being a vampire. She's dressing the part, but has to learn the rules about drinking while on the job. Pam is such a stickler for the rules.
Fire Starters: Some sort of fire monster, an ifrit, is after the soldiers. Blah, blah. Terry (Todd Lowe) and Scott Foley (We're sure his character has a name, but we only ever see the lovely Scott Foley) were cursed by some dying lady that they neglected to save—actually they killed her and then burned all the bodies. So it's really poetic justice that some supernatural thing with a vengeful streak is after them.
Two Exes and a Fairy: Most awkward road trip ever. Eric (Alexander Skarsgård), Bill (Stephen Moyer), Alcide and Sookie and some random guy are on the road looking for Russell Edgington (Denis O'Hare). But there's one big problem, a literally ticking clock because Bill and Eric's iStakes will activate at dawn. Dun. Dun. Dun.
Rewind Moment: OK, we get that Russell is evil and all, but we've really missed that crazy dude. Welcome back Russell!
"Alcide, you sure know how to treat a lady." —Eric
"If I wanted to look like a drag queen I would have raided Lafayette's closet." —Tara
"Alcide, are we going to talk about the fact that I puked on your shoes?" —Sookie
"We're going to live forever. We're going to be young forever. The world, it's like, wide open to us." —Jessica
"I've seen enough horror movies to know you don't split up when you're in a big scary asylum and there's a crazed killer on the loose." —Sookie
"New York City smells like pee and the people are rude." —Eric