The biggest news from the past week could easily have boiled down to ill-advised lip tattoo and Ann Curry's hastened exit from the Today show.
But, surprisingly, those events were blasted out of the water by a breakup that no one saw coming since they stopped waiting for it four or five years ago.
Et tu, Tom and Katie?
JUMPING-OFF POINT: Five years after their love affair literally leaped into our consciousness, Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise. We know you've got questions, probably mostly about Suri, money and Scientology—and we've got answers.
CHASING PACIFIERS: Adele dominated at the Grammys and now she's expecting a baby with boyfriend Simon Konecki. How many more ways can she tell that bloody ex of hers to suck it?
CURRY OUT OF FAVOR: Just days after there were rumblings of her imminent departure, Ann Curry announced her exit from the Today show and legal analyst/hour-three cohost Savannah Guthrie has already been named as her replacement. Curry spent years on the news desk without incident, but the NBC veteran apparently didn't connect with viewers as a cohost. But plenty of celebs were sorry to see her go and, now that we're thinking about it, Curry had a lot of fine moments this past year—and she always looked so polished! (And at least she didn't miss Channing Tatum showing off his Magic Mike moves.)
LIP DISSERVICE: Ke$ha had "suck it" tattooed on the inside of her lower lip. Great idea.
JUST HARRIED: Liam Hemsworth misspoke when he accidentally said that he and Miley Cyrus were married—but his sweet gaffe obviously made people wonder!
MY EYES ARE UP HERE: Jessica Simpson had one baby, but her twins are the real scene-stealer.
FOXY BABY: Brian Austin Green kissed Megan Fox's now obviously baby-toting belly for the camera.
MOUTHING OFF: Willow Smith, 11, appears to have a tongue ring, or she is at least testing out what it would feel like to have one. Another great idea!
STILL NO: That ring Jennifer Aniston has been wearing for a year, that we've all seen before, is still not an engagement ring.
FAREWELL: Don Grady, a star of My Three Sons, composer of The Phil Donahue Show theme song and an original Mouseketeer at age 11, died of cancer; he was 68...Nora Ephron, prolific humorist and filmmaker, died of leukemia; she was 71.
BABY BOOM: Jason Lee and wife Ceren welcomed son Sonny, their second child together and Lee's third...Kings of Leon drummer and uncle Nathan Followill expecting his first child with wife Jessie Baylin...Chad Lowe and wife Kim expecting their second child together.
EVER HELPFUL: Jennifer Lawrence came to an unconscious woman's aid outside an apartment complex in Santa Monica.
2GETHER 4EVER: Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves' wedding bands are sweetly engraved.
WHOA BOY: Jenny McCarthy's newest Playboy cover is out. And so are her boobs!
B'FFS: Kim Kardashian was sitting in the wings with Beyoncé in the apparent girlfriends/wives-of-the-performers section at Jay-Z and Kanye West's show in Birmingham, England.
SHOOTING HERSELF IN THE FOOT: Lindsay Lohan's gun-glamorizing photo shoot is not going over well with suicide-prevention and gun-control groups.
TV LAND: The premiere of Charlie Sheen's comeback sitcom, Anger Management, was a winner for FX...Bristol Palin: Life's a Trip pushed out of prime-time by Dance Moms...General Hospital is tops again at the Daytime Emmy Awards...Erin Andrews is leaving ESPN...Elle MacPherson and buyer H&M are out of Fashion Star...Singing ex-soldier Tim Poe is out of America's Got Talent...The Secret Circle's Chris Zylka joins American Horror Story...Catch up on The Bachelorette , The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Keeping Up With the Kardashians and True Blood.
MUSIC NOTES: Muse's "Survival" unveiled as official song of the 2012 Olympics...Kenny Chesney look-alike booted from one of the country star's concerts...If Chris Brown and Drake want to bury the hatchet on pay-per-view, there's $9 million in it for the winner.
SCREEN PLAY: The future comes back to haunt Colin Farrell in the Total Recall trailer...Matthew Fox puts those muscles to nefarious use in the Alex Cross trailer...Here's what everyone else is saying about Magic Mike—and here's what we're saying...Brave won the box office by a mile last weekend...Check out our review of Ted and Take This Waltz.
LAW & DISORDER: Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans and sort-of fiancé Gary Head arrested...Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt robbed in London...John Travolta sued by a third guy accusing him of misbehaving...Lauryn Hill pleaded guilty to tax evasion...No charges against LAPD officers in 2009 Rihanna photo leak...Snoop Dogg detained in Norway for having, er, contraband on him at the airport...Usher got a restraining order against an admittedly in-love fan...Parminder Nagra sued by her estranged husband...Jessie J sued for copyright infringement...Lindsay Lohan settled her second lawsuit from her second 2007 DUI...Free but deported Raffaello Follieri talks about his pre-prison relationship with Anne Hathaway...Club where the Chris Brown-Drake brawl went down has had its liquor license suspended and is suing NYC...Federal prosecutors recommend that admitted hacker pay Scarlett Johansson more than $66,000 in restitution...Christie Brinkley finally settles up with ex-husband Peter Cook...Reese Witherspoon no longer seeking emergency guardianship for her father...The Black Keys sued Pizza Hut and Home Depot...Jenna Jameson charged with DUI...Police finally conclude that Dylan McDermott's mother was murdered in 1967after reopening the investigation at the actor's request...The U.S. Supreme Court, coming off a fairly huge decision Thursday, decided not to bother with Janet Jackson's nipple.
HOSPITAL CORNER: Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek is on the mend after a mild heart attack.
SURREAL ESTATE: Did Prince William assist his in-laws in purchasing a $7 million home?...One of Warren Beatty and Annette Bening's Beverly Hills homes is on the market for $6.995 million...Britney Spears bummed out by Jason Trawick's parents selling their Long Island home.
VISITS FROM THE HAIR FAIRY: Charlize Theron is really shaved and shorn for Mad Max: Fury Road...Scarlett Johansson's hair is rather long and blond...Chyler Leigh goes for the pixie cut...Hayden Panettiere went rainbow-bright...Teri Hatcher should try sharpening those scissors next time...Selena Gomez tried on auburn.
OUT ON THE TOWN: Robert Pattinson joined Katy Perry, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez at new Hollywood club Bootsy Bellows...Brad Pitt and George Clooney ate Italian together in London...Pattinson also showed up at a talent exec's New Jersey wedding, along with Kristen Stewart, Andrew Garfield, Zac Efron, Drew Barrymore and her hubby, Will Kopelman.