Time to cue the Rocky theme and start chasing chickens: Michael Lohan wants Perez Hilton to be his human punching bag.
Lindsay's dad was initially slated to duke it out with Kevin Federline for a New York children's charity, but since that fell through, he's targeting a new sparring partner.
“Out of all the people on this planet, if there is one person I would really love to get in the ring with me," he says, "it would be Perez Hilton."
And the gossip blogger isn't backing down. "The only thing [Lohan]'s good at is throwing jabs in the media toward Dina Lohan and Samantha Ronson," Hilton tells E! News.
"I don't think Michael Lohan can handle the whooping I'd throw his way. I would obliterate him with my right hook in the ring!"
If Hilton can't make it, the elder Lohan says he'd take any comer willing to pony up at a charity auction, with the money going for a good cause.
"It's a great program called Long Island Community Chest, which helps kids," he says. "It's an amazing group. I did some work with them and they came to me and asked if I thought I could help with this, and I said, 'Yeah, I'd love to help.' "
Bidding starts at $5,000 when the auction goes online Oct. 28. The smackdown is set for Nov. 24 at the Crazy Donkey Bar and Grill on Long Island.
While the Lohan-Hilton card isn't official, the former has a message for his would-be adversary.
"In the event Perez can conjure up the nerve, he knows where to find me."