ann curry is having a hard time not taking the Today show's dip in the ratings personally.
"You worry, 'Am I not good enough? Am I not what people need? Am I asking the right questions?' When people say negative things or speculate, you can't help but feel hurt," she says in the August issue of Ladies' Home Journal.
When the former Dateline host spoke with the magazine, she said she knows NBC pays her salary, but she has "never doubted" who she really works for.
"I think about the people who watch," Curry said. "They're the ones who matter to me. I want to feel I haven't dropped the ball when it comes to them."
Fewer people are watching, however.
Today is only topping GMA by an average of 400,000 viewers a day, and the ABC morning show won a whole week in April—an outcome unheard of back in the Lauer-Katie Couric days. Lauer signed an unspecified long-term deal to stay with Today for the forseeable future.
But at the end of the day, Curry knows who her toughest critic is.
"Women have demanded and gotten better jobs and more power," she said. "But the one thing we deserve is a better relationship with ourselves. We waste too much time beating ourselves up. I think at my age of 55, it's time to stop doing that."
"I'm in this business because I want to have a life of value," the wife and mother of two said when asked what she loves about TV news. "For me that means giving people information that can give them a better life."
Whether or not her platform remains the Today show is up in the air.
"I've been at Today for 15 years and I'd love to make it to 20," Curry said. "I think eventually I want to become a teacher, like my father wanted to be, and hopefully positively influence the next generation."
(E! Online and NBC are both members of the NBCUniversal family.)