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Chuck Norris Will Kill Your Phone

Chuck Norris Robert Millard/ZUMA Press

Chuck Norris doesn't play games.

He disables them with a roundhouse and then makes them tearfully admit defeat.

Or so we would imagine after spending time on Chuck Norris Facts, the site that posits, "Chuck Norris does not get frostbite, Chuck Norris bites frost," and other ridiculous odes to the Walker, Texas Ranger star's straight-faced badassery.

But the martial arts star who doesn't wear a watch (because "he decides what time it is") has decided it's time for a mobile video game, Chuck Norris' Bring On the Pain.

Set to begin busting chops next month on mobile-phone platforms, the game features the Delta Force 2: The Columbian Connection star putting the hurt on dictators like Kim Jong-Il, Fidel Castro and even you, the player, should you be foolish enough to upload a photo of yourself for Norris to lay into.

As well, according to maker Gameloft, Bring On the Pain features "totally destructible environments," so that should be fun.

It remains to be seen whether this game will have the same viral power as the Facts, which were strong enough this year to make Norris the unofficial running mate of onetime Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee.

Of course, that was Huckabee's problem right there: You don't run with Chuck Norris.

You run from him.

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