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Game of Thrones Recap: Blood and Blackwater

Game of Thrones HBO

Wow. Just wow.

The long-awaited Battle of the Blackwater arrived. And it was epic. So who came out the victor in Game of Thrones? Who perished—and who is in control of King's Landing? Well, let's get right to the fiery action: 

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WHAT WE LEARNED

King's Landing: War is imminent. In fact it's on their doorstep, so what's better than catching a little music and a drink at the local tavern? King Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) is still the worst, in fact he may have taken over his own top honors by also being a terrible coward. He is absolutely useless during the Battle of the Blackwater and it's not the first time we've said, "Thank the gods for Tyrion!" Oh wait, who are we rooting for? We always forget. But we are always rooting for Tyrion (Peter Dinklage).

Stannis' Ships: Stannis (Stephen Dillane) may have had quite the navy prepared for battle, but nothing could prepare them (or us) for the awesome explosion of wildfire. The river lit up like a million green fireworks and we lost our favorite smuggler. But don't count Stannis out of the battle just yet. He shows some seriously impressive fighting skills while trying to take King's Landing. 

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The Red Keep: Cersei (Lena Headey) always has a plan. And getting drunk while locked up in the Red Keep with the crying ladies sounds like a pretty good one to us. Cersei throws back wine and starts spewing a lot of truth. She's a despicable human in a lot of ways, but she has some points. Life would have been better had she been born a man. For one, she wouldn't have been sold like a horse to a stranger or been at the mercy of kings and usurpers. It's pretty clear that she's not going to go down without a fight, but the fight was almost gone when her father Tywin (Charles Dance) appeared.

Sandor Clegane (Rory McCann) surprised us in this episode. His "eff it all" attitude, drinking and his offer to take Sansa (Sophie Turner) away were at the top of the list. He's clearly had enough of his employer and doesn't care who knows it. We must say, we probably would have fled with him if we were Sansa.

On the Walls: Award for MVP has to go to Tyrion. His rally speech to the disheartened soilders was epic. It was like something straight out of Friday Night Lights, but with more swearing and higher stakes. All the Emmys for Peter Dinklage! 

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ONE-LINERS

"F--k the Kingsguard. F--k this city. F--k the king." —Hound

"Tears aren't a woman's only weapon. The best one's between your legs." —Cersei

"Those are brave men knocking at our door, let's go kill them!" —Tyrion

"Someone bring me a drink. F--k the water, bring me wine." —Hound

"The worst ones always live." —Sansa

"I'm entirely sure you're entirely sure what I'm suggesting." —Tyrion

Did you love that battle? Hoping Tyrion is going to be OK? Is Cersei just a misunderstood victim of her circumstances? Sound off in the comments!

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