Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice

Bravo Photo: Virginia Sherwood


That's the number of Joe Giudice bleeps in the very first minute of tonight's episode. Oh yeah, Juicy Joe is on a tear, threatening Teresa not to bring her effing family to the house. "When I say something you f--king listen and shut up," threatens Joe. "Try to get me around your family, just try, I'll end up leaving you as well."

But you can't blame Joe, it's a Gemini thing. At least, according to Teresa. (Apparently the sign's witty and conversational traits skipped over him.)

Hard to believe, but this heated exchange isn't even the most awkward scene on Real Housewives of New Jersey. Read on for the most cringe-worthy moments...

"I was silently happy that in her high school years she was the chubby girl," Albert Manzo confesses of his daughter Lauren, who's still on the Dr. Perricone diet. "Boys want to be friends with chubby chicks they don't necessarily want to go out with chubby chicks."

Holy lack of filter, Al. What gives? You were the classy, quiet one we could always count on not to get involved.

And he's not the only one with the overshare affliction tonight.

"I got a reduction and a lift and you know what there's no scarring anymore," Jacqueline Laurita tells Lauren while they're shopping for sports bras. "Plus I wanted the areola smaller, it stretches out when you have a kid."

Thanks for the visual, Jacqueline!

But the evening's awkward factor has to be highest when Teresa and 10-year-old Gia discuss the birds, bees, first bras and menstruation.

"Tampons were a no-no in my house," Teresa tells of her upbringing. "My mom used to say you're not supposed to use these until after you get married because of virginity reasons. You're not supposed to insert something up there because it's like having sex."

And going bra shopping for the very first time on camera—aren't there child labor laws to prevent something like this? Gia's coming of age is cute and all, but is this something she wants out there when she hits middle school or goes on her first date?

Then again, her Laurita Field Day meltdown isn't much better.

Trampolines, inflatable fire trucks, dunk tanks...Jacqueline's party looks like a so much fun, but the pressure's too much for Gia when the grownups play fast and loose with the rules during tug o' war and the three-legged race. Of course, she's 10 so her bratty behavior is excusable—unlike the adults around her.

Still, do you think she'll regret being so exposed on national TV? Is anyone else getting tired of Lauren's weight analysis by mommy and daddy dearest? And is it even worth being shocked by anything out of Joe Giudice's mouth anymore?

Weigh in on all things related to the Garden State in our comments section below!

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