Apparently Maw-Maw's getting in all her favorite crime stories before the daggummit digital conversion ruins everything.
That's one way of explaining how while most premiere-week shows were down from last year, an uncommon number of veteran CBS shows were up.
NCIS (18 million) added 4.1 million viewers over last fall; CSI: Miami (17.2 million) grew by 4.5 million. Criminal Minds (17 million) added 4.3 million to its ranks, while CSI: NY (14.6 million) scored 1.9 million more.
Even two comedy shows got into the act: Two and a Half Men (14.9 million), which was up by 1.3 million; and How I Met Your Mother (9.8 million), up by 1.7 million.
One CBS series that didn't get the memo was Without a Trace (11.3 million), which shed more viewers—5.4 million—than any returning show, save NBC's Heroes (10 million), which suffered a whopping 7 million desertions.
One of the only non-CBS shows to build from fall premiere to fall premiere was the week's No. 1 show, the Monday edition of ABC's Dancing With the Stars (21.3 million, up 100,000 viewers), which celebrated the debut of 82-year-old Cloris Leachman.
Who hopefully has that rabbit-ear thing all worked out.
Other ratings tidbits from the TV week ended Sunday:
- For the record, ABC, not CBS, was the week's most-watched network among mature-ish viewers, aged 25-54. That Cloris Leachman really can do anything, can't she?
- ABC's Desperate Housewives (18.7 million) was the most-watched scripted show, and was fairly consistent from premiere to premiere (it was down less than 1 million viewers).
- ABC's Grey's Anatomy (18.5 million) was the second most-watched scripted show, but was less firm with its grip on fans, losing 2.4 million from last fall's season opener.
- Slipping or no, Grey's was the No. 1 show among coveted 18 to 49-year-olds.
- Things looked better for Heroes in the young-adult rankings, where the former It show finished eighth behind that fresh, hot…well, Fox's House (12.4 million viewers overall).
- Things, by the way, didn't look better for Heroes last night, when it recorded its lowest-rated original episode ever.
- NBC's The Office began its fifth season in typical form: Middling overall numbers (9.4 million, down a touch from last fall's premiere); top 10-worthy 18-49 ratings.
- Here's hoping My Name Is Earl (6.4 million, down 2.3 million from last fall) doesn't have too many more items on its to-do list.
- Sarah Palin's been a boon to NBC's Saturday Night Live, where Tina Fey's latest dead-on take on the vice-presidential contender helped boost overnight ratings by nearly 50 percent over the same episode last year.
- Since the Fey sketch was based on, if not transcribed from, Katie Couric's Palin interview, it's only right that Couric get a ratings boost, too—and she did, albeit a little one. The moribund CBS Evening News averaged about 6 million viewers, up about 500,000 from the previous week.
- George W. Bush won, again. The President's prime-time address on the economy was watched by 52.7 million, edging Barack Obama and John McCain's first debate, which was caught by 52.4 million.
- CBS' The Mentalist (15.6 million) was TV's most-watched new show; Fox's banished Do Not Disturb (3.6 million) was the least-watched freshman series.
- CBS' Gary Unmarried (6.8 million) is thankful ABC's Opportunity Knocks (6.6 million) spared it, barely, from being the least-watched premiering new show on the big four networks.
- The Simpsons' Gunsmoke-tying season premiere (9.5 million) was on par with its regular-old 19th season premiere (9.6 million).
- After The Simpsons, the rest of Fox's Sunday animated comedy block held up okay, especially American Dad (6.9 million), which was up almost a million viewers from last fall.
- The CW's 90210 (2.9 million) was down about 2 million viewers from its premiere week. Three weeks ago.
- It could be that 90210 isn't slumping; it could be that its audience is crazy busy. According to the CW, among the network's prized young-women demographic, ratings for the Sept. 9 episode rose by 58 percent when a week's worth of DVR playbacks were added in.
- The full cable rankings were delayed, but this much was known: ESPN's Monday Night Football (11.9 million) is still kinda popular.
- Disney Channel's The Suite Life on Deck, a revamp/relaunch of the long-running The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, premiered Friday as "the net's most-watched non-[Disney Channel Original Movie]-premiere-driven original series on record," which is a very long way of saying a lot of people—5.7 million—watched.
ABC won the first week of the 2008-09 season in total viewers (12.3 million) and 18-to-49-year-olds (5 million).
CBS (11.3 million overall) was a close second in total viewers; NBC (8.3 million overall) was a close second in the demo. Fox (7.5 million) was in fourth in both races, but in better shape than this time last year.
Here's a rundown of the 10 most-watched broadcast network prime-time shows for the week ended Sunday, according to Nielsen Media Research:
- Dancing With the Stars (Monday), ABC, 21.3 million viewers
- Desperate Housewives, ABC, 18.7 million viewers
- Grey's Anatomy, ABC, 18.5 million viewers
- Dancing With the Stars (Tuesday), ABC, 18.3 million viewers
- NCIS, CBS, 18 million viewers
- Sunday Night Football (Philadelphia at Chicago), NBC, 17.3 million viewers
- CSI: Miami, CBS, 17.2 million viewers
- Criminal Minds, CBS, 17 million viewers
- Dancing With the Stars (Wednesday), ABC, 15.9 million viewers
- The Mentalist, CBS, 15.6 million viewers
[Editor's Note: An earlier version of this story incorrectly reported CBS Evening News' ratings. The broadcast finished third, out of three nightly newscasts, for the week of Sept. 22-26.]