If Survivor: One World were a beauty pageant, Tarzan—the last man standing—wouldn't stand a chance.
Nor did it seem the chest-thumping buffoon could outwit, outplay or outlast leading lady Kim and her sexy sidekick, Chelsea.
Until tonight, that is, when the tribal elder plotted to send Chelsea home instead.
So did his plan succeed, or did girl power triumph once again?
In the end, Chelsea was still sitting pretty (seriously, isn't she one of the hottest Castaways of all time?), while plastic surgeon Greg Smith bid farewell with a bad poem and his signature Tarzan yell.
Looks like his car won't get those new shocks after all. (Too bad he didn't take advantage of his "manual dexterity" with a more lucrative career.)
For a while, Chelsea's exit seemed almost inevitable, especially since she repeated Kat's mistake by celebrating her dizzying reward challenge with her buddies, Sabrina and The 'Stache, instead of picking one of the outcasts to join her.
So while the trio feasted and showered aboard a luxury yacht, Tarzan and the rest of the girls plotted against them.
Or so we thought, until Alicia revealed all to fearless leader Kim, who insisted Tarzan was really gunning for her and Christina.
Uh-uh! No way is this "ghetto Puerto Rican" going to let herself get "straight-up Tarzaned"! Proclaiming herself "queen of the social game," Alicia bragged, "I'm the most powerful player—and I'm going to remain the most powerful player."
She's certainly the most well-nourished player, we'll give her that, and her vote carried even more weight with her surprising Immunity Challenge win.
Meanwhile, a fatalistic Tarzan prepared "to be defeated by the feminine gender, a failure among men" by preparing a special stew with a pinch of "microbes" from his dirty buff. (At least he didn't throw in his "poop pants" for added flavor?)
Then he marched off to Tribal Council wearing Kat's panties on his head. That's what you call a fashionable exit!
Now, with just five players remaining, odds-on favorite Kim has dominated the game, still has a chance to use her Hidden Immunity Idol and mesmerizes her competitors into submission with her angelic blue eyes.
"May the best woman win," Jeff Probst proclaimed after the unanimous vote.
But will she?
What do you think? Is Kim unstoppable, or will she get waxed axed before the final vote?