Stop ironing those dollar bills for a second and pay attention.
After mucho anticipation, the Magic Mike trailer finally hit the web last night and, now that you've had a chance to rewatch it to your lusty heart's content, it's time to break it all down.
And while we raised a worrisome eyebrow at times—This is a love story?! With furniture designing?!—we're more than happy to settle for Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey and the delicious playboy Alex Pettyfer all (yes, all) shirtless on the big screen.
May we now present our five fave moments from the sexy strip down (and what we're looking forward to from the flick):
1. Skin, Skin and More Skin: Seriously, these guys are like sculptures come to life right before our eyes (Michelangelo masterpieces, anyone?!). And while we barely got a glimpse of all the skin we will see come premiere time, that trusty green screen before the trailer revealed some info you'll want to pay attention to: it's rated R for "pervasive sexual content" and "brief graphic nudity." While we dislike its brevity, we'll take graphic! Could this be the full frontal Steven Soderbergh isn't afraid of?
2. Step Up…to the Pole: If Step Up taught us anything, it's that Mr. Tatum has some seriously slick moves. And they're on full display in this film too, of course—just check out those shots of him twisting, krumping and shaking his stuff for cash. Remember, the movie's loosely based on Channing's real-life stripper days. Here's hoping those other dudes took note. We just wish that Magic Mike had taken another page from Step Up's book and made this thing in 3-D!
3. Big Dick Richie: We literally cannot handle the perfection that is Joe Manganiello. And sure, we've practically seen it all on True Blood but never before dressed as a firefighter! The always abtastic Mr. Mang has only the briefest of cameos in the trailer—as he flips a female fan and ends up hurting his back—but it was enough to make us say "Alcide who?!" We're just hoping his alter ego's nickname might have something to do with point No. 1 on this list…
4. Where in the World Is Matt Bomer? We said it yesterday but we'll say it again: Why is our blue-eyed beauty practically MIA from the trailer? As some very keen eyes pointed out, that appears to be our fave White Collar hunk wading through the water...but we want to see our real-life Disney prince on stage! And pronto! Matty's already dished he's a "Ken doll who comes to life," but we think Bomer will put Mattel to shame.
5. Can We Get an Extra Order of Cheese? Some of the lines of dialogue in the trailer were just too much—and we loved it! Between Channing (dressed as a police officer, duh) saying "You don't have anything sharp on you I can stick myself with, do you? Good, 'cause I do!" and McConaughey cooing "The law says you cannot touch…but I think I see a lotta lawbreakers up in the house," it's very clear this movie isn't taking itself too seriously. Which is good, because we aren't either.
So with that, we'll leave you with Channing's parting words, "So ya gonna come to the show tonight?"
Oh, we'll be there, Chan—front-row center, where the real action's at.