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Blind Vice lesbians

Stars new to the scene can be so stupid. They haul outta town and they think they can act all diva-like and nobody's gonna be the wiser.

Uh, wrong! And perhaps no one's realizing this right now better than Consuela Conveyor-Belt, a newly minted star who thinks her stuff don't stink just because she went to the Oscars.

Gosh, what did Consuela do, exactly?

She ditched that boyfriend's she's so busy pretending to be all hot 'n' bothered with and went to a resort popular with disco-eyed Angelinos. With some girlfriends.

And when the partying gals hit a club which just happened to have a cocktail waitress who caught Consuela's eye, that's when things really got interesting.

Consuela made a pass at the waitress. The server then got all offended and stuff. Probably had something to do with Ms. Conveyor-Belt sticking her hand up the waitress's skirt, ya know?

The gorgeous worker-bee screamed bloody murder, at which point Consuela screamed even louder bloody murder! How dare you accuse me, don't you know who I am, and all that self-important crap.

There was a scuffle and then management swept the whole thing under the carpet, as it were.

Lesson learned: Sanctimonious B-listers who scream enough always get their way.

Until their beards who don't like the unnecessary attention drop them faster than you can say, "Who's next on the conveyor belt?"

AND IT AIN'T: Lauren ConradJessica SimpsonJennifer Love Hewitt