Citizens of our lovely pre-apocalyptic world where children do not have to battle to the death, rejoice!
It's St. Patrick's Day, so that means shenanigans are probably in order for many of you later on today. But this morning, just sip your nonalcoholic beverage (or make your coffee Irish, by all means) and enjoy catching up on all the pressing celebtertainment news of the week.
GAME TIME: The Hunger Games storms theaters next week, meaning this week Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth, Josh Hutcherson and the other, not-part-of-the-love-triangle actors in the already well-reviewed (yay!) movie were crisscrossing the globe for premieres in L.A., London and Paris.
MADE FOR EACH OTHER: Ben Flajnik proposed to Courtney Robertson on the season finale of The Bachelor, but in a shocking turn of events, he cut and run once he was privy to what she was actually like on the show. But he slipped her ring back on during the After the Final Rose special, and she's wearing it!
MAD CHATTER: Jon Hamm called out Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton for winning fame and fortune by acting like "f--king idiots" on TV—but he didn't mean anything by it! And why would Kim get all mad? She's rich and famous! (We don't know how Paris reacted, because we don't care.)
MORE OF MORRIS: Provocative photos of Heather Morris were leaked, an apparent result of the latest celebrity-phone hack job. But the Glee star isn't ashamed, heck no! In fact, she wonders why more stars don't capture themselves in the buff while they're at their best. (Ironically, Heather, judging by all the hacking, more hotties than we ever expected appear to have done just that...)
SWAN SONG: Jermaine Jones, already a last-minute addition to American Idol's live rounds, was disqualified after producers found out about his rap sheet—which they say wouldn't have hurt him if he had just come clean in the first place. The top 11 sang along without him, and then 10 hopefuls were picked for the American Idols Live Tour this summer.
A-LIST ARRESTS: George Clooney was busted according to plan with other protesters outside the Sudanese embassy in Washington, D.C., his latest move to encourage more U.S. involvement in the African nation's humanitarian crisis...Russell Brand turned himself in to New Orleans police after he hurled a photographer's iPhone through an office window. His mug shot isn't scary or anything.
BABY BLESSINGS: Charlize Theron adopted a baby boy named Jackson...About-to-pop Jessica Simpson may be gearing up to name her baby girl Maxwell...Sandra Bullock is not adopting another child...Neve Campbell is pregnant with her and beau J.J. Feild's first child...Snooki's excited to "be a MILF" and Ronnie Magro says his pregnant costar has "her act together...Jeremy Sisto and wife Addie Lane welcomed a son...Brandon Routh and True Blood's Courtney Ford expecting their first child...James Van Der Beek and wife Kimberly welcomed a son.
CLEARING THE AIR: Ashley Judd's rep blasts plastic surgery rumors...Lindzi Cox, the gal Bachelor Ben didn't pick, dishes on the aftermath...Jennifer Lopez explains wedding dress rumor...Gillian Anderson reveals she's had lesbian relationships...Prince Harry opens up about the realities of royal life...Bobbi Kristina Brown's "adopted brother" Nick Gordon insists they're just friends...Bobbi also sat down with Oprah to discuss mom Whitney Houston's legacy...Meghan McCain sets the record straight on her sexuality and fires back at Bristol Palin in Playboy...Ali Landry says she and second hubby Alejandro Monteverde abstained from sex before marriage.
GUNNING FOR TROUBLE: Photos of Don Trump Jr. and brother Eric posing with their kills from last year's African safari rubbed PETA, a Celebrity Apprentice sponsor and a whole lot of other people the wrong way.
DESPERATELY SEEKING SOLUTION: Nicolette Sheridan's battery allegation against Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry was dismissed, but her wrongful termination case against ABC is in the jury's hands. Both sides are still negotiating the possibility of a settlement, however.
SCREEN PLAY: First look at Kristen Stewart as vampire Bella in Breaking Dawn: Part 2...The campaign to have Ryan Gosling play Walt Disney starts here...Mark your calendar—next year's Oscars are Feb. 24...Watch Johnny Depp in the Dark Shadows trailer...Watch the trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman...Watch Taylor Kitsch in the Battleship trailer...Watch Kristen Stewart stay human in On the Road...Get our review of 21 Jump Street.
TV LAND: The Walking Dead tops itself!...HBO cancels Luck after third horse dies...CBS renews 15 series...Sharon Osbourne vs. Leah Remini heats up on Twitter...Bethenny Frankel flashed the Anderson audience...Sherri Shepherd shoots down Dancing With the Stars cheating rumor...Kate Upton's racy Zoo York ad too out there for MTV and Adult Swim...Bear Grylls and Man vs. Wild are on their own...OWN cancels The Rosie Show.
MUSICAL NOTES: Marie Osmond laughs so hard onstage in Vegas, she wets herself!...Jennifer Lopez's stunt double on her latest video is a dude!...Rihanna's got a new tattoo...Rihanna explains making new music with Chris Brown...Lada Gaga imposes gag order on herself...Watch Gavin DeGraw's "Sweeter" video...Watch Carrie Underwood's "Good Girl" video.
LAW & DISORDER: Lindsay Lohan denies bumping a guy with her car in a parking lot...Kony 2012 filmmaker-activist Jason Russell was detained by police and hospitalized for evaluation after allegedly running amok in his underwear in San Diego...Brooke Mueller sentenced to probation after copping to drug possession...Padma Lakshmi settles custody case with Adam Dell...Michael Madsen cleared of child cruelty...Teri Hatcher sues former employee for alleged hacking...Charges dropped against alleged Madonna stalker...Hell's Kitchen winner Danny Veltri busted for DUI.
HOSPITAL CORNER: Comedian Gallagher was placed in a medically induced coma after suffering a heart attack...Patrick Schwarzenegger was banged up in a skiing accident...American Idol alum Asia'h Epperson injured in a car accident.
FASHION FRENZY: Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham signs with Models International...The Row purveyors Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen nominated for Womenswear Designers of the Year by the Council of Fashion Designers of America...January Jones is the latest to get the pink highlights...Zahara Jolie-Pitt is adorable in blue braids...Check out Faith Hill with no makeup...Madonna defends Adele in wake of Karl Lagerfeld's fat slam.
SEEN: Beyoncé snuggling daughter Blue Ivy on a walk in Manhattan...Courtney Stodden about to catch a wave in Malibu...Nicki Minaj shooting her "Starships" video in Oahu...Kristin Cavallari rocking a one-piece in Cabo...Victoria Beckham and Kate Beckinsale out celebrating Eva Longoria's 37th birthday at Cecconi's in West Hollywood...Kate Middleton and father-in-law Prince Charles flexing their creative muscles at London's Dulwich Picture Gallery...Duchess Catherine also met with Team Great Britain's women's field hockey team at Olympic Park...Jason Bateman and daughter Francesca enjoying the Alice in Wonderland ride at Disneyland...Heidi Klum and Denise Richards joining their Girl Scout daughters' cookie-selling efforts...Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds picnicking at an L.A. park...Emma Stone planting one on Andrew Garfield on the streets of NYC...Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux landing at LAX.