Were the Oscars really only six days ago?
Just think, by this time next year, Snooki will be telling her baby bedtime stories about a fairytale princess-leg named Angie...
END OF PARTYING DAYS: Maybe those Mayans were onto something, because Snooki is reproducing this year. We are totally not dissing her right to be a mom, but...already? Nicole Polizzi is aware that she, uh, has to give up certain things, right?
GETTING A LEG UP: There was the Oscars—and then there was Angelina Jolie's leg at the Oscars. Whether you prefer her comically posed gam on Downton Abbey's Maggie Smith, as a missile launched by U.S. troops or on Julia Child's raw turkey, there's a meme for you.
SURPRISE!: Ryan Seacrest knew something was up when Sacha Baron Cohen's Admiral General Aladeen of the Republic of Wadiya requested a face-to-face. He didn't know he'd end up covered in Kim Jong Il's ashes (or Bisquick) right on the Oscar red carpet, though!
FAREWELL, MATE: Davy Jones, frontman of 1960s hitmakers The Monkees, died suddenly of a heart attack at only 66. A private service will be in Florida, where he was living, and public memorials will take place in New York and his native England.
LINE-DANCING: Dancing With the Stars' season 14 talent and pro pairings were revealed this week: Sherri Shepherd and Val! Urkel and Kym Johnson! Hot guy we've never seen in our lives and Cheryl Burke!
LONDON AND FRANCE!: Former Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon ditched her underpants and hit the red carpet in an unfortunate sheer-skirt minidress. Unfortunate if she wasn't trying to show everyone everything, that is. Otherwise, well done!
LAMAR ON THE D-LIST: Lamar Odom, who took a break from the Dallas Mavericks to deal with family matters, won't rejoin the team until he plays at least one game with the Texas Legends, the Mavs' NBA Development League team.
WHITNEY HOUSTON AFTERMATH: Pop icon's death will be ruled an accident...Target pulls crass joke card that cites Houston as a warning against hooking up with bad boys...Funeral home still defending itself from criticism over leaked casket photo.
SAFETY FIRST: Zac Efron explains dropping a condom on the red carpet at The Lorax premiere.
AU NATUREL?: Is Kim Kardashian wearing no makeup? Or lots of makeup?
HEALTH WATCH: Alex O'Loughlin getting treatment for painkiller use after a shoulder injury...Nick Cannon revealed he's suffering from a lupus-like autoimmune disorder...Ethan Zohn, who's battling Hodgkin's lymphoma, received a stem-cell transplant, and girlfriend Jenna Morasca opened up to E! about their life together...
TV LAND: American Idol top 13 chosen...Kris Jenner will guest-pose with daughters Kylie and Kendall on next week's America's Next Top Model...Introducing AnnaSophia Robb as Carrie in The Carrie Diaries...The Bachelor's Courtney Robertson, who hasn't been proposed to yet in TV Land, was trying on wedding dresses...Huge Walking Dead death heads-up...No X Factor for Janet Jackson...TV pilot casting roundup...Get a peek at The Pauly D project...Two-hour One Tree Hill finale planned...Lindsay Lohan is primed to make fun of herself on Saturday Night Live this weekend...Revenge creator spoils the non-kiss...Charlie Sheen's Anger Management premieres June 28 on FX...True Blood showrunner Alan Ball moving on...James Spader leaving The Office...Is your favorite show safe, doomed or on the bubble?
RECAPVILLE: Catch up on Jersey Shore, Project Runway: All Stars, the Top Chef: Texas finale, Survivor: One World, the Teen Mom 2 reunion finale, Gossip Girl, the end of The Voice blind auditions, The Bachelor, Celebrity Apprentice and Khloé & Lamar.
SCREEN PLAY: Scarlett Johansson will play Janet Leigh in Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho...The Hunger Games is almost upon us...Kristopher Van Varenberg works out just like Welcome to the Jungle costar and dad Jean-Claude Van Damme...Production kicks off on The Lone Ranger...Watch the trailer for Tim Burton's Frankenweenie...Peep the newest Avengers trailer...Record 11 Razzie nominations for Adam Sandler, thanks to Jack & Jill...The Artist tops the Independent Spirit Awards.
MUSICAL NOTES: Lady Gaga launched her Born This Way Foundation with a little help from her mom, Oprah Winfrey and Harvard...John Mayer's next album, Born and Raised, coming May 22...Céline Dion's show at Caesars in Vegas will go dark until at least June...
LAW & DISORDER: Trial gets underway in Nicollette Sheridan's wrongful termination and assault lawsuit against Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry...Late producer Jeff Rice's hospitalized assistant, Kathryn Fuller, cops to drug use in Uganda following Rice's overdose death...Amber Portwood blocked from traveling to Teen Mom reunion in NYC...Bling Ring burglar Nicholas Prugo cops to break-ins at Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge's homes...Assault case against Khloé Kardashian Odom sent to mediation...Khloé, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian named in a $5 million class-action suit against QuickTrim...Blake Lively restrains alleged stalker for three years...Palm Beach bomb squad called to Rush Limbaugh's house...Mel Gibson has surpassed anger management expectations...Britney Spears settles bodyguard's sexual harassment suit...Man shot to death outside Florida house owned by Rick Ross...Cops respond to domestic violence report from Lane Garrison's house on a domestic violence report...Marston Hefner charged with battery for alleged attack on Playboy Playmate Claire Sinclair...Kelsey Grammer and ex-wife Camille settle custody issues...Justin Bieber sued by "Joustin Beaver" game creator...Sean Young busted outside the post-Oscars Governors Ball...No charges for Heather Locklear or Jack Wagner in domestic incident...Lucy Lawless arrested in New Zealand during oil-drilling protest.
SURREAL ESTATE: Steven Tyler snagged a 3,000 square-foot Maui retreat for almost $2 million under the $6.5 million asking price.
SEEN: Angelina shopping with Brad Pitt's mom Jane and twins Knox and Vivienne in Beverly Hills...Beyoncé and Jay-Z out in public in NYC with baby daughter Blue Ivy...Leonardo DiCaprio taking Erin Heatherton to Rande Gerber's rum launch party at the Sofitel hotel in West Hollywood...Brad Pitt taking Maddox shopping at Hollywood's Guitar Center...Katy Perry starting rumors by walking through LAX with friend and stylist Johnny Wujek...Kate Middleton taking tea with Queen Elizabeth II and Duchess Camilla at London's Fortnum & Mason...Johnny Depp modeling Mugatu's Derelicte collection in NYC...Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth being gorgeous at Elton John's annual Oscar viewing party...Avril Lavigne exes Deryck Whibley and Brody Jenner partying together at Maxim's Hollywood bash.