Monty Brinton/CBSSurvivor: One World's days of fun 'n' sun are over.
An ominous storm ravaged the Castaways' camp in tonight's episode, foreshadowing a power struggle and the toppling of a ruler.
So who is the new sovereign in Survivor's game of thrones?
Queen Colton!
Last week's outcast is now Manono's HBIC, and after losing two challenges in a row to the dysfunctional women, the Misfit/Average Joe alliance deferred to the Country Club Republican in selecting their first castoff.
The Boy King Matt (a doppelgänger for Game of Thrones' Joffrey Baratheon) was not only cut down by the Colton Quintet—even his Frat-Boy Alliance turned on him.
Whether it was his physical dominance, bitchiness or unhealthy obsession with poultry, Matt's was the third torch snuffed this season.
Speaking of fire snuffing…the women got off to a miserable start tonight. Neither their fire nor their flimsy shelter could withstand the pounding rain and wind, while the men were warm and cozy under their tarp. After a night of soaked shivering, the women swallowed their pride and begged the men to let them warm up at their fire.
But maybe the cold sharpened the women's brains, because in the concentration/memory reward challenge they didn't allow the men to score a single point against them. (Kat, predictably, had to try seven times before she got it right, but she still beat Troyzan.) Jeff Probst, in snazzy non-chambray shirt, berated Manono this time, yelling during the challenge, "The men continue to be pathetic!"
So did the women, actually, who begged the boys again to help them with fire and setting back gender equality about 60 years by crying in the cold, "We're girls, we're not meant to be beaten down this well." They also turned in a pathetic performance in the blindfolded Immunity Challenge, but Sabrina made up for her feeble direction with a huge comeback, solving the final puzzle before Bill.
Colton's Quips:
"I'm a Republican, I am not a Democrat—I do not believe in handouts." —On the Salani tribes repeated requests for help from the men
"But even I don't understand!" —In response to Troyzan, who said, "We're men, they're women, maybe we think different."
"I'm so excited to vote someone out. I dislike so many of these people." —After the men lost their first Immunity Challenge
"I can't deal with this 'Yo bro, like bro,'—shut up, go kill yourself. All he's doing is digging himself a grave. I don't want to talk to you, I don't like you, stay away from me. You're ghetto trash, that's all you are. I can't stand him. I want him gone yesterday." —On Bill, dashing our hopes for an Odd Couple bromance
"Matt's the head of the snake, and you have to chop off the head of the snake for the rest of it to stop wiggling. Of this tribe of nine, if I could get rid of five people, it would be heaven." —Colton, just being misanthropic
"Save those questions for me." —When Jeff refuses Tarzan's request to hear the last two votes
Is Colton amusing or obnoxious? Do you think his tribe made the right move tonight? Take your torch on down to the comments and sound off!
PECS VS. BIKINIS! Take a closer look at the One World Castaways