It was a crazy week, so there's not a moment to lose. Dig in!
ALWAYS LOVED: Weeks don't start off more media-saturated than this one, with millions of people tuning into wall-to-wall coverage of Whitney Houston's funeral, be it online or on CNN. And while the service was one for the books, there was a faint shadow cast by Bobby Brown's early exit, Aretha Franklin's entirely explainable absence and then, later in the week, a photo published of Houston lying in her casket. It's never easy to say goodbye, but you can be sure that Whitney is the only one resting in peace right now.
TIMEOUT: Lamar Odom has temporarily left the Dallas Mavericks—it's All-Star weekend, so he's not missing much at the moment, anyway—to be with his ailing father, Joe Odom, in Los Angeles and Khloé Kardashian Odom is with him, of course. Our best to your dad, Lamar!
KEEPING UP: Kendall Jenner stunned in a variety of swimsuits and cover-ups for White Sands Australia.
DICTATOR, OR JUST DICK?: Though he stars in Hugo, the most nominated film this year, Sacha Baron Cohen wants to walk the Oscars red carpet as fictional despot General Aladeen of the Republic of Wadiya to pump up the volume for The Dictator. Telecast producer Brian Grazer is all for it but the Academy is still getting used to the idea. Either way, Aladeen's marketing mission has been accomplished. But if he shows, will the distraction be as distracting as these incidents?
UNWISE GUY: A Miami woman has accused Chris Brown of grabbing her iPhone out of her hand outside a nightclub and taking off with it. Too bad she wasn't holding a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People. You know it's bad when a guy named CM Punk has it in for you.
SAD ENDING: Jeff Rice, a producer who freelanced on The Amazing Rice, was found dead of an apparent cocaine overdose in his hotel room in Uganda, where he was working on a documentary. His assistant, who was found unconscious and is being treated at a nearby hospital, needs an OK from Interpol to return home to South Africa.
ER LEAD-IN: Seinfeld actor Daniel von Bargen called 911 after shooting himself in the head.
GOOD KARMA DEPT.: Taylor Swift, while unable to make it to the senior prom with a New Jersey teen battling cancer, invited him to the Academy of Country Music Awards instead!
THE WORM: Jennifer Aniston said being naked in Wanderlust (but not too naked) was liberating but she feels a little guilty about selling out Justin Theroux's breakdancing skills to Ellen DeGeneres. But we weren't sorry to watch!
GOBAMA: Bill Maher chipped in $1 million to President Barack Obama's Super PAC, while Kal Penn and Eva Longoria were named cochairs of Obama's reelection campaign. Meanwhile, the commander-in-chief blew off steam with B.B. King and Mick Jagger in the East Room at the "In Performance at the White House: Red, White and Blues" concert celebrating Black History Month.
ADULT LITERATURE: J.K. Rowling is going to try her hand at a novel for adults. Which isn't as seedy as we've just made it sound...Angelina Jolie is writing the foreword to Billy Bob Thornton's memoir...Stephen Colbert, meanwhile, is going to make the Maurice Sendak-approved I Am a Pole (And So Can You!) a reality.
ON THE MEND: Gerard Butler went to rehab to kick painkillers...Brooke Mueller left inpatient rehab, remains an outpatient in L.A....Dame Judi Dench confirms she has macular degeneration but assures she's not going blind...
HITCHING POST: Elizabeth Smart tied the knot with Matthew Gilmour.
TV LAND: Stephen Colbert returns to The Colbert Report, gives subtle shout-out to his mom...Is Giuliana Rancic too busy for Dancing With the Stars?...American Idol picks a Top 24-going-on-25...Star Jones makes first appearance on The View since leaving...Newark doesn't want Snooki and JWoww, either...Mark Ballas and Derek Hough aren't Dance Mom fans...Desperate Housewives finale scoop...Watch Candice Swanepoel's Victoria's Secret Gorgeous Swimwear commercial...Ashley Hebert breaks down the Ben-Courtney Bachelor drama...Community's back March 15...Charlie Sheen's Anger Management hits FX on March 22...Lindsay Lohan will host SNL on March 3...The Simpsons marked its 500th episode.
Recaps Catch up on the latest episodes of Jersey Shore, Project Runway All Stars, Grey's Anatomy, Survivor: One World, Teen Mom 2, Glee, The Bachelor, Khloé & Lamar, Celebrity Apprentice, Downton Abbey, The Amazing Race and Saturday Night Live.
MUSICAL NOTES: Is Rihanna torpedoing her own career by working with Chris Brown again? What if they show up on American Idol together?...Check out LMFAO's "Sorry for Party Rocking" video...Adele surpasses Whitney Houston...Adele also wins Album of the Year at the Brit Awards, but gets cut off and raises her middle finger in frustration...Paris Hilton starred in the video for Manufactured Superstars' "Drunk Text." Why, you ask?...X Factor crier, er, cutie Rachel Crow gets a record deal...Justin Bieber and more take part in Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe"...Adam Lambert will sing with Queen at the Sonisphere Festival in Knebworth, England.
LAW & DISORDER: Turns out the photo being used to allegedly extort the 19 Kids and Counting family was a real snooze...Lindsay Lohan's probation checkup went really well...Teen Mom's Amber Portwood released from jail...No bail for Conrad Murray while he appeals manslaughter conviction...Brooke Mueller charged with felony cocaine possession...Charlotte Church settles her portion of the News of the World hacking scandal...Kim Kardashian settles lawsuit, gets apology from blogger who called her marriage staged...Paula Abdul settles lawsuit brought by woman who fell at her house...Hines Ward pleads to reckless driving, gets probation...Bam Margera tossed in jail after drunken Mardi Gras swim...Sugarland denies responsibility for Indiana State Fair stage collapse.
FASHION FRENZY: Ashton Kutcher and Alessandra Ambrosio went to bed for Colcci's Autumn/Winter 2012 campaign...Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl (and Carl's Jr. commercial star) Kate Upton is wearing way less than a bathing suit in Muse magazine...Tyra Banks graduated from Harvard Business School...Katy Perry has launched a line of fake eyelashes for Eylur.
SEEN: Zac Efron possibly dropping a condom on the red carpet at The Lorax premiere...Lea Michele spreading glee in Cabo San Lucas...Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart daring to get cozy at Scout Taylor-Compton's birthday party...Victoria Beckham filling in for Eva Longoria's bra at the Desperate Housewives' foundation launch party at Beso...Ben Affleck and very pregnant Jennifer Garner taking Violet and Seraphina to Disneyland...AnnaLynne McCord strolling in Santa Monica in retro short-shorts...Oscar prepartying is in full swing...Kate Middleton strolling the grounds of Kensington Gardens with new puppy Lupo...Sheryl Crow about to use her boogie board in Maui...Tim Burton and his children with Helena Bonham Carter looking on as Queen Elizabeth II made mum a CBE...Megan Fox flashes that tattoo down there in Hawaii...Beyoncé and Jay-Z taking in a Nets-Knicks game at Madison Square Garden.