Noel Vasquez/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
I was just watching Zac Efron's interview with Ellen DeGeneres and when she asked him about how he spent his Valentine's Day he played it very coy and appeared to be hinting he was with a significant other. Being my No. 1 source for all things gossip, I had to ask you: What's the deal there? Does he have a beau but is just trying to keep it under wraps?
—KnewMan
Dear Under Wraps:
Clearly you haven't been keeping up with Condomgate, babe, ‘cause Zacky apparently has someone (or a few ready 'n' eager someones) on his radar that he needs to keep some emergency-contraceptive gear on hand for. Let's admit this altogether now: When you bring a prophylactic to a red-carpet event, you've quite possibly got more than just one idea on who to best help you unwrap it afterward. And Zac isn't going to be as showy with any new relayshes—he learned his lesson with Vanessa Hudgens.
Dear Ted:
I've been meaning to write this for years, but someone has obviously beaten me to it. Without a doubt, Robert Pattinson for Finnick Odair. Apart from his deliciousness, a great opportunity for him to ape his heartthrob image and then do some real dramatic acting on top of it. He'd certainly have to cut out the pints at the pub to cut up for all the loincloth scenes, but he was born to play this part.
—Rumba
Dear Ain't Gonna Happen:
Sorry, Rumba, but the bigwigs behind The Hunger Games have apparently decreed that there shall be no Twi-H.G. crossovers (as Kellan Lutz has also been a popular pick for ole Finnick). Anyways, I think Rob shouldn't attach his name to another franchise so soon—he's got solo cred to prove.
Dear Ted:
For several days now, I see headlines about Jennifer Aniston…so many that I'm becoming tired of them and of her. When her acting ability is barely above high school level, why does she receive so much attention? Even her latest boyfriend seems nice but unimpressive. I am totally stumped. What exactly is Jennifer's draw? Does she have any real power in Hollywood?
—Anne
Dear Box Office Mojo:
Of course she has real power in Tinseltown. She's America's friggin' Sweetheart, after all. So while you may not like her big-screen biz, there are plenty of people who are willing to shell out the cash to see her mug. Her movies actually make dough. And treasure-trail Justin's hot, get used to it. Get on board, Annie, because Jennifer isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Dear Ted:
Minka Kelly seems like such a sweetheart. I don't understand why she keeps putting her career on hold for Derek Jeter. He appears to be a conceited, paranoid, childish jerk while she appears to be gentle and kind. Maybe she's so sweet, she doesn't see it? Is he wrong for her, or am I just totally wrong about her?
—KissNTell
Dear
Minka knows what she's getting herself into—she's a grown woman after all, at the age of 31, despite not looking a day older than 23. And maybe the twosome have more in common than you'd think (in fact, they do). Either way, I think her career falters (Charlie's Angeles, anyone?) have little to do with Jeter.
Dear Ted:
Why, oh why, couldn't Lindsay Lohan be in another movie besides Elizabeth Taylor's biopic? Wouldn't Lindsay want to do an indie flick? Makes more sense.
—Rose
Dear Easy:
‘Cause big project (i.e. taking on a legend like Liz) earns big buzz. And LiLo loves her attention. Plus, there will be plenty of people waiting for her to mess it up, so if she pulls it off—which, she potentially could—it'll be a step toward a big-screen comeback in a huge way.
Dear Ted:
I read your stories but have to say that you've made me a little mad in the past. You're so harsh on Angelina Jolie and she's my favorite celebrity ever. My respect has grown for you for talking about people like Michael Vick and Chris Brown the way you have. I think Chris is the scum of the earth. The saddest part is that he clearly hasn't changed one bit. To have you speak out against people like Chris Brown when you are not a woman makes it even more special somehow. Thank you, Ted. P.S.: Be a little easier on Angelina! Thanks!
—Ale
Dear Thanks Babe:
But I think I've been very kind to Ms. Jolie lately! She's been up to some very cool stuff, no?