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Jersey Shore Recap: The Case of the Cake Burglar

Jersey Shore, Season 5 Cast Ian Spanier Photography/MTV

Remember that ultimatum that was lingering at the end of last week's episode between JWoww and Roger? Well, don't worry. They didn't break up.

Basically, Rog is "like 65 years old," according to Deena, so he doesn't play games. OK, we got it.

Tonight we faced bigger problems on the Jersey Shore...

MORE: Jersey Shore Sneak Peek: Pauly D Pulls a Fast (and Dirty) One on Deena

Snooki and Deena made a cake for their Shore Store boss in hopes of getting back on his good graces. So after they remembered to put the delicious treat in the oven, the meatballs frosted and decorated their apology to perfection (it really was cute).

But once morning came, a corner of the cake was eaten! WTF?! All they wanted was for Danny to have his cake and eat it, too!

All fingers pointed to Mike, as usual. He said he didn't, as usual.

MORE: Who Needs Hoboken? Snooki and JWoww's Jersey Shore Spinoff Finds a New Home

Cake or no cake, Snooks still showed up an hour late to work. In her defense, she was at the doctor's for her UTI, and didn't think it would take so long. She also didn't think to call Danny and warn him. Oh well, in Jenni's words, "S--t happens."

Finally the culprit came clean, and it actually wasn't Mike! Shocker, we know.

It was Pauly D! "Don't cook a cake in my house and expect me not to eat it."

Did hell just freeze over? Because it might happen, you guys. Mike might just have a girlfriend! The Situation ran into his lady friend Paula aka the Birthday Girl while at Karma and he told us that she's his "main squeeze." Say whaaaat?! Then it was "birthday sex" time.

MORE: Jersey Shore Recap: Vinny Falls for a Lesbian, Pauly D Gains a New "Stalker" and JWoww and Roger Fight

After witnessing a bromance date between Pauly and Vinny , the lovebirds joined Sammi, Ronnie and Deena for a night out at Jenks nightclub. There was also a surprise guest: Drunk Ronnie and his "Gumby ankles."

Once they got home, Pauly did that dirty thing to Deena's bed that we talked to you guys about. You remember?

Of course, that didn't stop Dee from "doing sex" with her buddy Joey (who thankfully got a condom from one of the guys).

MORE: Jersey Shore's Snooki Admits She's Bisexual While Questioning The Situation's Sexuality

The next night, Jenni dressed up (well, there were barely any clothes) in a very sexy cutout dress to remind Roger that there are "two very big reasons" as to why he's still with her. He enjoyed it. And so did another fellow at Karma, who wouldn't stop grabbing at JWoww, which caused Roger to shove him off and the mystery man to swing.

Wish we could tell you more, but that's where it ended. Ugh, we know.

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