Given that everyone seems to have a girl-crush on Zooey Deschanel and her Japanimation eyes, what exactly happened between her and her soon-to-be ex-hubby? Anything Vicey? Or just mainstream pop celebrity behavior, as much their bevy of adorkable counterculture fans don't want to believe it.
Dear The New Vicer:
First, love your name. Second, it went the same way as every other marriage that began before either party became super famous: One half of the couple (Zooey, in this case) blew up—sure, she was known for roles à la Elf but really became a household name in the past year—and the relaysh crumbled in the limelight. Nothing Vicey here.
Please can you give us any clues on Leo DiCaprio's Vice. Could he possibly be Jerry Rock-Butt? Oh and also, has anyone ever guessed Nevis Divine correctly? I don't believe in the popular guess. Love from S.A.!
Dear Butt of the Blind:
Good guess, Mani, but Leo is not Mr. Rock-Butt. Jerr is a bit younger and fairly hotter than Leo these days. Plus, Jerry is committed, whereas Leonardo so isn't. As for Nev, some guessers are definitely a lot warmer than others.
My rescue Corky and I hope you and yours had a happy Heart Day. Corky—who loves Jackie Bouffant—wants to know: You have said Jackie is happy with his boyfriend, did they have a nice Valentine's Day together?
—Love, Corky and Me
Dear Feeling the Love:
Yes they did, thank you so much for asking.
I was surprised to know that the adorable Rachel Bilson was a B.V. a few years ago and got very curious. Can you give us a clue?
She's a costarrer. One of her former flames was way up to the really juicy biz (and still is, but only somewhat).
Back when she was a bubblegum pop singer, I remember Christina Aguilera saying she had a crush on Carson Daly, who now hosts her show, The Voice. Any Vicing, past or present, between the two?
Dear The Vice:
Crushes come a dime a dozen…and Xtina knows that better than anyone. Nothing's happened between the two. Or Adam Levine, just to really squash any rumors of on-set hanky-panky. Though, your guess would be more likely to happen, methinks.
I email quite a bit about B.V.'s that I'm sure people would love to hear about instead of the overpublicized certain "couple." Vice articles used to be so juicy. Could you throw us old-schoolers some sort of bone here and fill in some blanks on toothy tile/Grey Goose, Dashed Dingle-Dream and Judas Jack-Off, Crotch Uh-Lastic and King Schlong. I'm starting to think you don't actually answer emails, rather make your own up...prove me wrong, love!
Dear Where Have You Been:
Uh, never made up an email in my life. Certainly no need, nor would I. And, babe, I chat about T2 and G2, DDO and JJO, CU-L and the King a ton. And trust me, if there was anything especially Vicey going on with any of my fave Vicers (yes, I love this crowd as much as you do, ya old-schooler), I'd give you the deets ASAP. Duh.