Bombs, er, Brandi away!
There's something about the former Mrs. Eddie Cibrian that brings out the worst in our beloved Housewives. Tempers flare, well-manicured fingers are pointed and insults are flung. (Angry Spice...Um, really Kyle Richards?)
So what's got the ladies all riled up in the second part of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion—other than Brandi's tiny bikinis and foul language?
Brandi vs. Adrienne Maloof: Despite what looked like a friendship during the second season, the women haven't seen each other since the show wrapped. Adrienne skipped Brandi's birthday party and Brandi skipped Adrienne's Halloween party. These two are dunzo.
But their on-camera bickering also offered up the best analysis of true friendship in Beverly Hills: "You don't even return texts, you tweet me," complained Brandi. (Apparently a phone call isn't even on the table.)
Brandi vs. Taylor Armstrong: When Brandi takes Taylor to task for writing a book about her allegedly abusive ex-husband—"It's been a hot minute."—Taylor shoots back, accusing Brandi of slashing her ex-husband's tires.
But Taylor forgot who she was dealing with. There's not much Brandi the "super slut" won't cop to. "Yeah. I just took the tires and I put the knife into his motorcycle, and then I told him, 'Don't ride them, you're probably going to get hurt,'" said the self-confessed loudmouth.
Brandi vs. Kyle: While it seemed like the two had patched things up at the end of the season, Kyle's not exactly rooting for Team Glanville. And now we know why. Brandi mistakenly texted the Bev Hills housewife, calling her the C-word, in a message that was meant for someone else.
"Talk about two face," says Kyle. "This is the Brandi that...the cameras didn't always see."
And that's not all.
While discussing the M.I.A. Kim Richards, Brandi joked that she may even have helped Kim face her problems when she accused her of being a crystal meth addict.
"Do I regret saying that specifically? Yes. But the truth is she was on something and she was in and out of the bathroom all night and she's in rehab now, so clearly I wasn't wrong."
She was also reminded of a blog post she wrote detailing the game-night showdown with Kyle and Kim on Bravo's website: "I grew up with parents who taught me that bullying is an indefensible crime. I guess they don't teach that to child stars."
Then again, the sisters did conspire to hide her crutches that night, no matter how hard Kyle tried to wiggle out of that one. Even Andy Cohen had to chide Kyle when she attempted to shut the conversation down. Sorry, sister, don't mess with the moderator.
But it wasn't just the Brandi Glanville reality hour.
We also learned that dry wit doesn't fly in Oklahoma, according to Taylor. "I did not understand Lisa [Vanderpump]'s humor, the little things she would say would bother me...I've never had British friends. I mean I grew up in Oklahoma and there are no British people there."
Taylor's also not a fan of dogs with Twitter accounts. "Giggy was tweeting things I didn't think were appropriate, and calling people names...It was perpetuating a new personality for Lisa and I didn't like it."
And Giggy's is still in Adrienne's (and presumably Bernie the Chef's) bad books for sipping out of her crystal goblets at the dinner table. The dog will never live that moment down. Ditto Lisa and Ken.
Meanwhile, we also got the scoop on the formerly hated Housewife who has gained the most ground this season. Camille Grammer is in a monogamous relationship with a man eight years her junior; she might change her name back to Donatacci after the custody battle is solved; she has made a concerted effort not to kiss any more male friends; and she's not afraid to admit she enjoys being on a show that gets better ratings than her ex-husband's (Boss on Starz).
But tonight wasn't just about boy-toys and petty disagreements.
Andy also pressed Taylor for some more answers on Russell Armstrong, including the contents of a briefcase found next to his body.
The files inside included information about 10 different bank accounts, an office in Rio de Janeiro and flash drives that Taylor has yet to open. "Um, he had a lot of things going on that I didn't know about."
She also revealed that Russell's business associate committed suicide right after her ex's death. While she couldn't prove a link, Taylor did introduce the theory that Russell and his partner might have been murdered, which she says would give her greater solace than knowing he took his own life.
Are you buying the conspiracy theory that Russell might have been whacked? Did tonight's show leave you cheering for or against Brandi? And has the new and improved Camille managed to turn you into a fan? Weigh in on tonight's show in the Comments section below!