Dear Ted:
In the past couple of years there have been so many celebs caught on video that have gone viral (salvia, anyone?). On that note, how long until one of your closeted Blind Vicers is caught and outed? And who would you think it would be? It's hard to believe that someone like Seymour Plow-Me-More can stay behind the beard for too much longer, even if he does make everyone sign an agreement to keep quiet.
—Ella
Dear Sex, Lies and Cell-Phone Pics:
I actually am surprised that a few Vicers haven't been caught, especially the likes of Sey who enjoys getting it on in public places where any old witness could very easily snap a photo that would spread across the Internet like a bad case of crabs. But if I had to make a guess? I'd say Crotch Uh-Lastic.
Dear Ted:
Debbie Doobie has been bugging me for a while now, so I sat down and think I finally figured her out. Please tell me D.D. is Ginnifer Goodwin!?
—C
Dear Once Upon a Vice:
Sorry, doll, but you've got some more thinking to do. Heck, even Deb's fakey persona (ya know, the one where she acts like she's not a hellion) is a bit edgier than Ginnifer's. Plus, Ms. Doobie is a bit more famous.
Dear Ted:
Can you answer my question: Word on the street, Twitter and other sites is that Kristen Stewart is banging her bodyguard and has been for some time. After banging him, she goes home and bangs Robert Pattinson. They are saying he does not know about her and the bodyguard. Is it true? Awaiting your answer with baited breath.
—London
Dear And Exhale:
That's a whole lot of banging, babe. But I have a question for you: London, you didn't actually believe this rumor, did you? I won't even beat around the bush this time: plain and simple, it ain't true. I think you Twi-hards know better by now.
Dear Ted:
Is there any truth to the rumors about Russell Brand and Zooey Deschanel hooking up?
—MooKinda
Dear Also False:
I guess it makes sense why this attempt at goss would catch on, seeing as the two are both recently divorced and Zooey kinda sort looks a lot like Katy, but it's not true. And I suspect Russell will keep any post-divorce dating he does on the D.L. for a while.
Dear Ted:
Noticed Courteney Cox is on Twitter now! And the other day she and David Arquette were referring to each other as BFF. How's it going with them? Any chance of reconciliation? Love ya!
—Meg
Dear Best Former-Wife Forever:
Reconciliation? Ha! No, Meg, David already has a new girlfriend (another brunette bombshell) and things between the two are apparently getting "serious." So I wouldn't plan on D.A. and C.C. deciding to give it another go. They just have a very...pleasant divorce.
Dear Ted:
I definitely don't think Blake Lively is being honest about only having four boyfriends. Her comments about what she likes to do during a romantic evening included some of Ryan Gosling's known favorites such as Chet Baker and Edith Piaf. Blake hardly seems the type for a low-key night of jazz and musings. Why lie about other relationships especially with someone so delicious as the "other" Ryan?
—Brown
Dear Fakey Blakey:
I'm not buying it, either—well, not the four BFs thing. I do know that Blakey-poo likes to stay in and is a huge baker, so that part could be legit. But I'm as flabbergasted as you, Brown. If I had snagged Gosling, even for a sec, I'd be bragging about it every day.