So, how about those Republican primaries?
If you would prefer not to think about the economy, international conflict or the depressing nature of politics in this country for a few minutes—we've got the perfect reprieve!
SO MUCH FOR THEIR HAPPY ENDING: Odd couple turned we're-used-to-them couple Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne have broken up, but—ugh, why do they have to go and make things so complicated—they're both still declaring their love for one another via Twitter.
TROUBLE IN PARADIS: But they seemed so happy! Not that we ever saw Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis together much, but he always talked about her and their two kids so lovingly and we just assumed things were all hunky-dory off on that private island Depp owns. Reps for the super-private pair are not saying a word, but the word we are hearing is that the never-married, international duo are just leading separate lives now. But no matter how Depp's personal life is going, he's still your favorite.
THE ASCENDANT: Maybe The Descendants, starring George Clooney, has a shot at The Artist's Best Picture Oscar since it took the drama half of the best-movie contest at the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards, hosted so savvily by Ricky Gervais and made so uncomfortable for a couple of minutes by Madonna. Catch up on all of our Golden Globes coverage, from George and Stacy Keibler on the red carpet, to George's Brad Pitt-cane joke to George's big win. And, if memory serves, we swear there were other stars there besides Clooney.
FAREWELL: Etta James, singer of "At Last," "I'd Rather Go Blind" and many more seductive favorites, lost her battle with leukemia and other health problems on Friday. She was 73. Beyoncé played the legendary diva in Cadillac Records, and was one of many artists, such as Aretha Franklin and Pink, who wrote warmly of the late singer. James is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and her recording of "At Last" is in the Grammy Hall of Fame.
NEXT STOP, BLOCK?: Katy Perry is no longer following Russell Brand on Twitter. Maybe her shirtless pal from her show in Jakarta—her first concert since she and Brand split—inspired her to make that all-important click. (But at least her handle isn't @mrsbrand.)
FAMILY TIES: First it's her parentage, then it's her offspring! While the National Enquirer was coming up with the nifty idea that O.J. Simpson is Khloé Kardashian Odom's real dad, rumor had it that Khloé and hubby Lamar were visiting a fertility clinic in their quest to get pregnant. Not so, Khloé says—but she'll keep us posted!
JERSEY GIRL: Check out Snooki without her makeup on! Normal, right?!
ROMANCE REPORT: David Arquette and girlfriend Christina McLarty are "serious"...Like Marc Anthony and his new girlfriend did, Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart have taken their love to Twitter...Adele slams rumors that boyfriend Simon Konecki is married...Justin Bieber not-quite-slams Selena Gomez against a fridge to sneak a kiss at Jamba Juice in Anaheim...Exes Vanessa Hudgens and Josh Hutcherson face inevitable couple questions during promotional stop for their new movie.
BABY BOOM: Sarah Drew and husband Peter Lanford welcomed their first child, son Micah Emmanuel...Jessica Capshaw is expecting her second child with hubby Christopher Gavigan...Chris Hemsworth and wife Elsa Pataky are expecting their first child...Kelsey Grammer and wife Kayte Walsh are expecting twins, and here's what Camille Grammer thinks about it.
THE SPLITS: Kenny G's wife filed for a legal separation after nearly 20 years.
CLEAN SLATE: Eva Longoria is finally getting her Tony Parker-celebrating tattoos removed.
TV LAND: Miss Wisconsin, Laura Kaeppeler, was crowned Miss America 2012...Modern Family is holding its own against critics of its toddler-says-the-F-word gag. For f--k's sake, people, lighten up!...Survivor: One World cast announced...Supposedly that bearded guy on The Office was not Steve Carell...Brad Womack's ex Emily Maynard is coming back for more on The Bachelorette...American Idol's 11th season premiered and fewer people cared than ever—though judges' favorite Amy Brumfield has a criminal record...Priceline killed off spokesman William Shatner...Exclusive Glee scoop from Cory Monteith...Lea Michele's two dads revealed...Exclusive insider info on J.Lo and Marc Anthony's new show, ¡Q'Viva!...Work It canceled...Kelsey Grammer wastes a shadow on 30 Rock...Kyle Richards is all about the Kim Richards health updates...Discovery Channel is planning a special this summer on the Costa Concordia sinking...Read recaps of Jersey Shore, Project Runway All Stars, Grey's Anatomy, Glee, Teen Mom 2, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, The Bachelor, Gossip Girl and Kourtney & Kim Take New York....SPOILER CHAT!
SCREEN PLAY: The Artist scored a leading 12 BAFTA nominations...Charlize Theron talks connecting with Snow White and the Huntsman costar Kristen Stewart...George Lucas is done making Star Wars movies, period...2012 Sundance Film Festival kicks off in Park City, Utah...Watch Will Ferrell's Casa De Mi Padre trailer...Read reviews of Underworld Awakening, Red Tails and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
MUSIC: David Furnish buried the hatchet with Madonna after his "Masterpiece" diss...LL Cool J is hosting the Grammys next month...Yes he can! Barack Obama crooned "Let's Stay Together" at a campaign fundraiser at NYC's Apollo Theater...Hear Bruce Springsteen's new single, "We Take Care of Our Own"...Blake Shelton postpones tour dates in wake of his father's death.
GOAL: David Beckham is staying with the L.A. Galaxy for as long as they'll have him in exchange for millions of dollars.
BEATING THE ODDS: Giuliana Rancic told us about the informal, mutually supportive chat she had with Lauren Scruggs, the model who lost both her left eye and left hand when she was struck by a plane propeller. She was seen out and about in Dallas, where she's undergoing physical therapy.
ROYAL CORNER: Kate Middleton appears to have removed herself from the royal fold to vacation with her parents and Pippa on the Caribbean island of Mustique...In honor of grandma Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee, Prince Harry will jet-set to the Caribbean and South America to spread good will toward all (but is that before or after he takes on Mt. Everest?)...Pippa Middleton's attorney fired off a letter to tabloid editors warning them to quit harassing the sister-of-royalty.
FLIGHT OF FANCY: Mark Wahlberg apologized for his comment about how he would have been able to stop some of the 9-11 hijackers if he had been on their flight—as he originally was scheduled to be!
STAR TRECK: Zoe Saldana came to the aid of an older woman whose face was bloodied in a car crash, leading her away from her vehicle, helping her take a seat on the side of the road and dialing 911.
HOSPITAL CORNER: Paula Deen reveals she has diabetes...Bruce Jenner should be fine after a skin cancer scare...Crazy-talkin' Sinéad O'Connor has checked into a treatment center for depression...Country legend Merle Haggard was forced to cancel his remaining shows this month after being hospitalized with pneumonia.
LAW & DISORDER: Lindsay Lohan got an A for effort at her latest probation hearing...Jenelle Evans was released from jail but could be going back...Heather Locklear and Jack Wagner may be reuniting in court...Bachelor Pad alum Kasey Kahl busted for alleged brawl...Ex-Miss USA Rima Fakih opened up to E! News about her DUI case...Bruno Mars gets cocaine charge off his record...Jude Law collected about $200,000 in damages from News Corp. in the wake of the hacking scandal...Oprah Winfrey security guards briefly detained in India after fighting with reporters...Courtney Love dodges eviction...Seven executives from the Swizz Beatz-run Megaupload.com have been indicted in federal court...Garth Brooks tearfully testifies against hospital he's accused of bilking his late mother's legacy...Man cops to stalking Halle Berry, gets 193 more days in jail...William Balfour, charged with murdering Jennifer Hudson's mom, brother and young nephew, goes to trial April 23...Conrad Murray prosecutors drop bid to get $100 million in restitution for Michael Jackson's family.
SURREAL ESTATE: Drake is ditching his Miami high-rise to the tune of $1.9 million...Kelly Bensimon has listed her East Hampton home for $12 million...You can rent the Sonoma County mansion where Bachelor Ben Flajnik is working his mojo this season for $2,100 per night.
FASHIONABLY GREAT: Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber's knockout daughter Kaia is the face of the brand-new Young Versace line...Ashley Benson and Lucy Hale rock short-shorts for Bongo...Taylor Swift is Vogue's February cover girl...Kate Hudson is sophisticated-cool in Ann Taylor's new ads...Michelle Williams dons undies and a Marilyn Monroe wig for GQ cover...Justin Timberlake is a class act in ads for Givenchy's new fragrance, Play Sport...Rihanna has to wear unmentionables for Emporio Armani Underwear...
SEEN: Teen bride Courtney Stodden walking her dog in teeny shorts and tall platforms...New dad Jay-Z gracing the reopening of his 40/40 club in Manhattan solo...Florence Welch's tattoo is modern but her high-cut bikini and bathing camp are retro in Rio...Vanessa Hudgens and Austin Butler locking lips in the Pacific Ocean while vacationing in Maui...Rihanna working out (and otherwise vacationing) in a bikini in Hawaii...Ashley Tisdale enjoying a night out with one Jeri Slaughter...Pregnant Alessandra Ambrossio posing on the beach with similarly stunning pals in Brazil...Halle Berry and maybe-fiancé Olivier Martinez taking her daughter Nahla to Disneyland...Bieber sporting dark hair while running errands and attending a football-watching party in Sherman Oaks, Calif....LeAnn Rimes getting a new, Eddie Cibrian-inspired tattoo on her foot...Kim Kardashian attending the Cinema For Peace benefit for Sean Penn's J/P Haitian Relief Organization.