Have husband, will travel.
Kim Kardashian finally has Kris Humphries living with her in the city, but all that together time seems to be driving a bigger wedge between the couple in tonight's double episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York.
First up is a trip to Mystic, Connecticut to escape the paparazzi, but Scott Disick and Kris aren't on the invite list when Kim, Kourtney and Mason pack up their bags and head out of town.
Not that the guys are sitting home alone...
Kris has been offered "some quick cash" to head up to Toronto and make a club appearance. And Scott's on board, too. "I may go just to prove a point that I'm not whipped," says Mason's daddy with swagger. Problem is, neither one tipped off his significant other.
Up in Connecticut, Kim and Kourt are having some fun checking out the local aquarium with Mason. It's a whole different story in Canada where girls are snapping pics of Kris. "Don't put that on Facebook," Scott warns.
Dinner and drinks are followed by clubbing and more drinks. And more cameraphone pics. "It's bad enough that we ran off to Canada. Humphries really doesn't need girls taking pictures with him. So whatever I could do to help out, I will to some extent," says Scott.
Back in Mystic, the girls are enjoying a seafood dinner with Mason. Forget the bottle service, all this little dude needs is some crayons and paper for a good time.
And all is good until Kim checks Twitter. "It's crazy up in here, Scott Disick and Kris Humphries just walked in the building," she reads.
"Mason, you're a guy, do you think they're being good or bad?" asks Kourtney.
"Bad!" Ruh-roh. It seems like Mason isn't living by the bro code just yet.
But the kid seems to know what he's talking about. Up in the Great White North, Kris decides Scott's too drunk. "I'm going to be the responsible one here," he states while dragging Scott out of the club. But not before making a pitstop in the basement bathroom. Except Scott decides he can't wait his turn and finds a garbage can to use.
Everyone heads back to New York City where the guys got some 'splaining to do.
"How would you feel if I went out of the country to work and didn't tell you?" asks Kim.
"Stop stalking me on Twitter" says Kris…before coming to his senses and apologizing for leaving the country without telling her. "Part of me is not used to being married yet."
Scott's not getting away with his secret expedition, either.
"Anything you want to say?" asks Kourt.
"I went because Kris was going and he asked me to go and I was here alone. You were gone. I was lonely," explains her hubby.
"I think we could use a great two-hour therapy session," says Kourt. "Maybe even more," quips Scott.
But while the misunderstanding seems like it might lead to some making up for Mason's parents, it seems to be making things worse for Kim and Kris.
She's headed to Dubai for work. And while Kris is aware of the trip, he's not invited. Mama Kris Jenner will be making the round-the-world trip with Kim.
While one Kardashian ships out to the Middle East, another takes her place. Khloé's in town and hoping to connect with Kris.
"If I try to reach out to Hump and try to break the ice, hopefully Kim will see it and turn her evil moods to me around," confesses Khlo.
She starts with a pop quiz about Kourtney—for the record, she did go to college, but her number of sexual partners remains a mystery—before deciding pranks will be the way to Kris' heart.
Over in Dubai, Kim gets a greeting from Millions of Milkshakes owner Sheeraz Hasan. Kim will open his latest location at the Dubai mall.
"Everything in Dubai is so stunning," coos Kim as she gets escorted into an enormous luxury suite at the Atlantis that could house the whole Kardashian clan. "I'm so excited to be here."
Things get even better as Kim gets a rock star reception at the store opening. People are hanging off the rafters just to get a glimpse of her. "This is just a pretty special moment," says Kim. Indeed. We predict a brisk business for the frozen treats just judging by the number of people who showed up to see Kim.
But Kim's starting to feel guilty about enjoying herself so much away from Kris. "I feel like I'm back to myself and I'm really enjoying this feeling."
Khloé's not having much more luck with Kris. The old snake in the bed trick didn't bring them closer together. (It only proved Kourtey to be the bravest Kardashian for picking up the snake to chase Kris.) And inviting the basketball player to the zoo didn't work much better. "We really want to get to know Hump, but he's acting like he's miserable," complains Khloé.
She's not the only Kardashian sis' feeling the distance. Kim finally decides to confide in her mom, and it ain't pretty. "There's something in my relationship that I feel isn't right. I'm learning a lot of things about him that I didn't really know before. And married life isn't what I thought it would be with him."
That's not good news for the newlyweds. "It's not normal to feel like you don't want to go home to your brand-new husband," says Kris. "Your dad and I were obsessed with each other."
What did you think of tonight's episode? Were Kim's getaways without Kris part of the problem or necessary for her to get some perspective? And what did you think of Khloé's getting-to-know-you tactics? Sound off in the comments!