Ho ho ho! In tonight's holiday-themed episode of Teen Mom 2, Jenelle, Leah, Chelsea and Kailyn each celebrated their babies' very first Christmas.
OK, so we've already taken down our lights and recycled our dead trees, but time moves more slowly in the world of Teen Mom.
(Seriously, since filming tonight's episode last December, Jenelle has performed community service, been in and out of rehab and finally—fingers crossed!—broken up with the oxygen-wasting Kieffer for good.)
So what happened on the young mamas' Yuletide of yore?
Damn you, Adam, and your inevitable betrayal! Since last week's spat, Chelsea and her baby daddy have kissed and made up. As if that isn't shocking enough, Adam has a job. And not at a Chelsea-jealous-rage-inducing coed pizza parlor, but a "real-life job" working with—wait for it—generator enclosures! We're fuzzy on all the details except for its benefits: health and dental insurance for daddy and baby Aubree, and—please sit down if you feel faint—child support automatically deducted from the proud daddy's paycheck. Who is this mystery man? (Dude even cut down the new family's first Christmas tree.)
Chelsea's mom is "more understanding" about her daughter's "commitment" to Adam 2.0 (or maybe it's 17.0? Honestly, we've lost count), but her dad Randy is understandably more skeptical. "We'll see—he's not really held a job yet," he responds when Chelsea announces the good news, adding a trademark eyeroll when she says she loves Adam and wants their relationship to work. Retorts Randy: "You don't stick with somebody because you want it to work—you stick with it because it is working." Zing! Dad refuses to budge despite her Tiny Tim guilt tripping: "Since my parents are divorced I have to celebrate Christmas twice," she whines. First World problems!
Meanwhile, Kailyn is so alone the show has to
hire extras manufacture a visit from a counselor and invite an "old friend" to bake cookies and feed her questions to encourage a TV-friendly dialogue. "At the end of the day I'm by myself," Kailyn acknowledges sadly. Even though young Isaac is spending Christmas Eve with baby daddy Jo, Kailyn celebrates with her new boyfriend Jordan, who sweetly tells her, "You're like a gift, to me." Awww. When Kailyn picks up Isaac the next day, she also extends an olive branch to Jo's mom Janet, sort of apologizing in a Christmas card for dating other people while living rent-free with her and her son. But now Kailyn is older, wiser and independent, playing Santa to her toddler.
Back at the double-wide, Corey dons a full Santa costume for twins Ali and Aleeah, who don't know quite what to make of their first birthday and Christmas celebrations. Since the preemies were in the ICU last year, mama Leah broke the bank on cake, gifts and decorations. Her budget can't compare to the $60K birthday party Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Taylor Armstrong threw for her 4-year-old, but $500 seems like a lot to spend on presents when the girls are more interested in the wrapping paper, even when it's covered in duct tape. But because we live in the future—where Leah and Corey are divorced—their heartwarming celebration is actually heartbreaking: "It makes me feel like we actually made it," Leah tells her loving husband under the glow of the Christmas tree. "They have their mommy and daddy and it's not split. It's all worth it in the end. We're not having two separate parties." Sigh.
Instead of partying, Kieffer is sitting in jail, where everyone (his former friends included) but Jenelle seems to think he belongs. After an atypically affectionate family Christmas celebration—when Jenelle's mom Barbara gives her a bracelet instead of the can of WD-40 we were expecting—the teen mama picks a fight because, admit it, she's looking for a reason to reunite with her Prince Charming. Unfortunately, Kieffer and Jenelle are a few decks short of another favor card, and no one over 21 agrees to sign for his bail. As Barbara's boyfriend Mike sagely tells Jenelle, "You [used to have] millions of friends floating around." (Too many, perhaps?) "Now you got one guy and you're done."
At least the Ghost of Christmas Future promises Jenelle will find another guy in 2011.
What did you think of tonight's mama dramz? Sound off in the comments!