Big changes are afoot in Hollywoodland—and Dallas, for that matter. (Which, if you hadn't heard, is thinking of changing its name to KarDallas.)
Some good news (congrats, Britney) and some bad (sorry, Kobe), but all of it's sure to weave itself through the fabric of the star-studded universe in 2012.
Best of all, however, Tinseltown started doing what it does best: Bombarding some of the finest actors in the land with the promise of Golden Globe, SAG and Critics' Choice gold as reward for their mad skills!
Read on for the complete rundown...
TRADING PLACES: Lamar Odom will be playing for the Dallas Mavericks when the NBA season finally begins on Christmas, and he's taking Khloé Kardashian Odom—not to mention, Khloé & Lamar and all that comes with it—with him. Both spouses admit that the trade news (all of it) was a shock, but that they're looking forward to making a home in a new city.
HEALING PROCESS: We're happy to report that E! News cohost Giuliana Rancic came out of surgery for a double mastectomy with flying colors and is resting comfortably at home. (And, wink-wink, sending work emails.)
PRELUDE TO A NUDE: Hugh Hefner talked to E! about Lindsay Lohan—who despite cutting it close the night before court is doing a damn fine job on probation, thanks very much—posing for Playboy and how Hef said it was going to be a nude pictorial or nothing. And what he says goes—no matter how creepy it sounds at first!
THAT GIRL: After much hype, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo—phew—earned strong early reviews, especially for Rooney Mara's ballsy performance. Speaking of the It girl, she celebrated her breakout role by slamming one of her lesser roles.
GETTING HITCHED: Britney Spears is engaged for real, y'all! Jason Trawick popped the question on his 40th birthday and then they celebrated in Vegas.
CUTTING LOOSE: Eight years after the sexual-assault scandal that you thought would tear them apart then, Vanessa Bryant filed for divorce from L.A. Lakers all-star Kobe Bryant, the highest paid player in the NBA.
NAME-CHANGER: Demi Moore protests that she has better things to do than take two minutes out of her schedule to change her Twitter handle from @mrskutcher.
MAYBE BABY: Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with neither one child nor two.
HEALTHY CHOICE: Jennifer Aniston is, however, the hottest woman of all time.
WEDDING BELLS: Brooke Burns is engaged to director Gavin O'Connor.
BABY SHOWER: Charlie Day and wife Mary Elizabeth Ellis welcomed their first child, son Russell Wallace Day...Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof are expecting their second child...Fantasia Barrino welcomed her second child, son Dallas Xavier Barrino...Check out John Travolta and Kelly Preston's adorable son Benjamin.
HOW THEY GROW...: Zac Efron flashed his new "YOLO" tattoo while promoting New Year's Eve in Tokyo...Miley Cyrus shot down speculation that she had a boob job after making a perky appearance at CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute Event in L.A.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY: Mason Disick turned 2 and mom and dad (and all those Kardashians) have a big blowout planned for the soon-to-be big brother.
MEMORIES: Paris Jackson talked about dad Michael Jackson and her acting debut on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
DONE GOOD: Kim Kardashian made a "life-changing" trip to Haiti with Kris Jenner, Donna Karan, Maria Bello and Patricia Arquette on behalf of Bello's We Advance organization. And now she wants to go back with her sisters.
DONE NO WRONG: Kris Humphries said he had nothing to do with some hater throwing flour in Kim K. pal Jonathan Cheban's face, and condemned the hateful act. The perpetrator said, "This is for Kris," but it was pretty clear he was just some random dude.
SPLITS: Ashley Tisdale broke up with video director Scott Speer...Katie Couric broke up with her boyfriend of five years, Brooks Perlin...
TEEN MAMA DRAMA: Amber Portwood's had a real roller-coaster of a week. First news that she's in the clear with children's services. But then comes a violation-laden probation report. And then a car wreck...Teen Mom's Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra plan to tie the knot on July 15, 2013.
SAD GOODBYE: Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar held a memorial service attended by hundreds for the child they miscarried, posthumously named Jubilee Shalom.
TV LAND: Steve Jobs bested the Kardashians on Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011 special... Marcus Canty was finally eliminated from The X Factor...Christopher Meloni is joining True Blood...Howard Stern joins America's Got Talent as a judge...Extreme Makeover: Home Edition canceled after nine seasons...American Airlines flight attendants wouldn't cry if, say, 30 Rock was yanked from in-flight programming...Whoopi Goldberg tooted her own horn on The View...Russell Brand has an animated sitcom and a late-night unscripted show in the works...President Obama reveals what the first family watches...Sharon Osbourne finally talks about Holly Robinson Peete and Leah Remini's ouster from The Talk...Once Upon a Time death scoop...People were surprisingly excited to watch Fear Factor again...SPOILER ZONE.
RECAPVILLE: American Horror Story...Survivor: South Pacific...The X Factor...Teen Mom 2...The Biggest Loser finale...The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills...Kourtney & Kim Take New York...The Amazing Race finale...Once Upon a Time.
SCREEN PLAY: The Artist leads the field heading into the 2012 Golden Globes with six nominations...The Artist was strong but The Help leads all comers with four nominations for the 2012 Screen Actors Guild Awards, plus Bridesmaids made the cut for Best Ensemble...Hugo is tops at the 17th annual Critics' Choice Awards with 11 nominations...Bridesmaids and War Horse bookend AFI's Movies of the Year list...The Los Angeles Film Critics Association singled out The Descendants...Matt Damon was in The Bourne Ultimatum, so who knew he hated Tony Gilroy's initial script so much?!...George Takei hates on Twilight...Seth Rogen will host the 2012 Independent Spirit Awards...Inside the pirated trailer for The Dark Knight Rises...New trailers for G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Men in Black 3, The Dictator, Jack the Giant Killer,W.E., Rock of Ages, Glee, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted...Check out reviews of Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, Mission: Impossible—Ghost Protocol, Young Adult, Chipwrecked.
LAW & DISORDER: Lean on Me actor Jermaine "Huggy" Hopkins arrested for alleged pot dealing...Rodney Atkins files for divorce after being busted for alleged domestic violence...Justin Bieber got pulled over...Kirstie Alley's Wichita, Kan., home was vandalized...Leighton Meester is no longer being sued by her mother...Richard Hatch was released from prison (again), this time two months early...Sam Jones III begins serving a year-long prison sentence for conspiracy to distribute oxycodone.
HOSPITAL CORNER: Etta James, 73, is said to be terminally ill and receiving hospice care at home...Brooke Mueller checked into long-term inpatient rehab...
FAREWELL: Joe Simon, cocreator of Captain America, died at 98 following a brief illness...
FASHIONABLY GREAT: Kim Kardashian bought three jade and diamond bracelets from Elizabeth Taylor's famed jewelry collection at auction for a reported $64,900...All accounted for, Liz's jewels took in $115 million, with a portion of that haul going to the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation...Kendall and Kylie Jenner signed a deal with Glamhouse Productions to create a line of tween-friendly jewelry...