Ladies and gentleman, we have ourselves a villain.
Survivor: South Pacific has seen a lot of crazy, betrayal and resentment, but no real Russell Hantz-style rascal.
Gather round as we tell this scary campfire story…
In Xanadu Did Kubla Khan: As much as we love his bons mots, it was so unfair of Albert—the villain of tonight's tale—to shout directions to Edna during the duel, giving her a clear advantage over Ozzy. Fortunately for CBS' ratings, the Ozsome winning streak continued, and he returned to what Sophie calls Ozzy's Pleasure Dome, feeding and comforting each jury member after they've been voted out.
Bubble Boy: After voting out Edna, the final five joined hands to celebrate. "The most important thing we have to do," said Brandon, "is gave thanks to the person who did this for us." See, Cochran, they do appreciate you! Or was Brandon referring to someone else? When Albert assured Rick (you know, the guy in the cowboy hat?) that they are going to the end together, the cattleman responded, "We can stand on our head and blow bubbles for the next six days." Has he been doing anything else since day one?
Pizza Deliverance: With Coach, Sophie and Rick determined to vote him out, Brandon won the Immunity Challenge when he needed it most, picking "Cowboy" (it's quite possible he doesn't know Rick's name) to share the pizza reward with him. "This isn't a strategic move or I'd be choosing someone else," said the man from Obviousville. Coach chalks the win up to "divine intervention" and prays, downward-dog style, about which lamb he should sacrifice. He received an answer—whether from God or Phillip Sheppard's great-great-great grandfather Jessem Herring, we couldn't say, but he wasn't wearing a feather at Tribal Council.
Mercy Flush: After a priceless Spanky-style double-take when Rick exposes Albert's deceit, Brandon stirred up a crapstorm at camp. In the end, because he's Mayor Brandon of Crazytown, Russell Hantz's nephew decides—while hammering nails in what looked to be his own crucifix—to demonstrate his forgiveness by giving sneaky Albert his Immunity Necklace. Instead of getting "a chance at flushing Albert down the toilet bowl," Sophie saw her own hopes disappear down the drain.
Necklace or Noose? Once again, Jeff Probst demonstrated why he has more Emmys than Coach has nicknames by calling out Albert on his "spiritual bond" with Brandon, virtually daring him—as "a Christian man"—to return the Immunity Necklace to Brandon. Albert squirmed and protested, exposing himself as a scoundrel while the amazed jury watched with Eliza Orlins eyes. Like Survivor: Micronesia's Erik Reichenbach, who gave up his Immunity Necklace only to be voted out by the same Black Widow alliance who betrayed Ozzy, Brandon was sent home with Coach's deciding vote. But as Jeff snuffed Brandon's torch, the Immunity Necklace spontaneously dropped off Albert's neck. Dun-dun-dun.
Next Time, on Survivor: Could Brandon be the one to send Ozzy home in the last Redemption Island duel, or will the veteran finally square off against Coach? Will Jeff put the "final flush" on Albert and his foul deeds? Who will end up in the final three? Stay tuned Sunday night, when we'll be reporting all the action and interviewing the Castaways at Survivor: South Pacific's live finale in Los Angeles.