Just like Jenelle and her friends, tonight's episode of Teen Mom 2 took a detour from Planet Fun.
Chelsea is changing her Facebook status to "in a dysfunctional relationship," Kailyn's "living like trash," while Jenelle and bad-boy boyfriend Kieffer are living…in her car. But it's Leah who has her very own suite in the heartbreak hotel, as she and hubby Corey cope with potentially devastating news about baby daughter Ali…
Chelsea and Adam 4EVAH: Shocker! After messaging her on Facebook (presumably not addressing her as a "fat stretch-mark bitch" and calling their daughter "mistake" as he did in past texts), Chelsea agrees once again to get back together with her baby daddy. Anyone with a GED knows that Chelsea's plan to "use her head, not her heart" was inherently flawed. As "sad" as it makes her, a heart is all this girl's got.
And maybe reuniting with the lazy man whore is best; he's sure to help out with baby Aubree while Chelsea recovers from her knee surgery and hits the books. As she points out, "With all the distractions I haven't been studying at all for my GED." And if Adam again refuses to pay rent to Chelsea's enabling/"mean" father, well, maybe he's just saving for their future: "In 10 years…when we get married." Wait, what?! Guess it's time to toast the happy couple with a cup of spit-soaked sunflower shells.
Unwanted Houseguest: Since she left baby daddy Jo and moved out of his family's house, Kailyn has been living with her mom—and her Bartleby the Scrivener boyfriend. Returning to their home (sometime in between her two jobs and full-time college classes), Kailyn finds a note from Mr. Tidy: "Your rooms stink," he writes. "We don't live like—me and your mom don't live like trash." That's all the invitation Kailyn needs to finally strike out on her own, and after rejecting welfare, she finds her own apartment, apparently financed by a nonprofit organization that helps young moms.
MTV, who are you trying to fool here? Amber Portwood admitted in court that she received $280,000 for a year of filming Teen Mom. Are we supposed to believe the Teen Mom 2 cast is working for free?
"Dude I Seriously Did Not Just Drive All the Way the F--K Up Here for Everybody to Be F--King S--t Pants": Since Jenelle's mom and hater of true love kicked her daughter out, the Teen Mom has been bunking with BF Kieffer in her car. And despite those sweet Ed Hardy seatcovers, things aren't going so well for the two lovebirds. While Jenelle tries to do her homework in the library, Kieffer uses his free time to gamble. He's got to do something besides "stare at the wall."
Jenelle's resentment of the poster boy for failure explodes when he brings a bottle of liquor to drink before their bowling night at Planet Fun. Just when their friend Ben is trying to bizzout, Jenelle and Kieffer have a huge fight in the parking lot. "That was my change jar, Jenelle! What the hell would you do that for?" shrieks Ben after she chucks his coins at her boyfriend—who retaliates by shoving her and throwing her in the car. Cue MTV's domestic violence PSA, and next week's previews showing Jenelle presses charges against Kieffer for assault.
Baby Blues: Leah has to take a day off from her new job as a dental assistant to take baby Ali, who's been suffering from an undiagnosed developmental disorder, to the eye doctor for a checkup. Although the ophthalmologist has some good news—Ali's adorable pink glasses seem to have corrected her nystagmus—he recommends a brain MRI because her small optic nerves could indicate a brain abnormality.
When Leah is discussing the scary news with hubby Corey and his stepmom, Joetta, Ali's twin Aleeah takes her first steps while her sister—who has only just learned how to sit up by herself—watches. That's when Joetta drops another bombshell: She did some research and discovered that it is not uncommon for patients with Ali's diagnosis to go blind.
If anyone deserves a night at Planet Fun, it's this family.
What did you think of tonight's episode? Sound off in the comments!