We can't give you too much of an intro because we're busy playing Words With Friends, but surely you know by now that everything you need to know about the past week in celebutainment news is after the jump!
TOUGH DECISION: Giuliana Rancic revealed that she will be undergoing a double mastectomy as part of her treatment for breast cancer—and as a preventative measure with an eye on eventually getting pregnant one day. Her many pals and supporters tweeted their well wishes.
INDECISION 2011: Nicole Scherzinger had to be thinking that Marcus Canty would be sent home if she took her two cents off the table and let the X Factor elimination be decided by audience votes alone. And Rachel Crow told her not to cry, regardless. But little did anyone know that Rachel would take the bad news as hard as we've seen anyone take bad news in a long time. After Simon Cowell surprisingly did not kill Nicole, Rachel is back to looking out for her. And no need for death threats, people.
TOP MODEL BACKWARDS: After a few dead-eye photo shoots that almost sent her home, Angelea Preston may have won America's Next Top Model: All-Stars based on sheer potential and personality...until she was mysteriously disqualified, perhaps after she had already won the title. Instead of going with the final panel scene shot in Greece, the judges solemnly picked Lisa D'Amato over Allison Harvard back in L.A. Miss Personality herself is holding a tell-all press conference today, so stay tuned.
HAVE WORDS, WILL TRAVEL: Alec Baldwin made an enemy out of American Airlines and, inexplicably, the Greyhound bus line after an altercation with flight attendants got him booted from a flight and he gave Words With Friends more free publicity than any multimillion-dollar advertising campaign could ever accomplish.
BABY MAMA DRAMA: Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham bashed Kourtney Kardashian for getting pregnant again, prompting the wrath of Scott Disick. Apparently not thinking better of it, Farrah then fired back at Scott and expressed "hope" that Kourtney would take her relationship more seriously. Because, you know, Farrah knows everything about them from watching TV.
SAD NEWS: Our sympathies go out to Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, who learned Thursday that Michelle had miscarried in her second trimester. The 19 Kids and Counting parents plan to still bestow a name on their lost child.
BAD SPORTS: Speaking of basketball, the L.A. Lakers attempted to trade Lamar Odom, but the NBA killed the deal, leaving the unpleasantly surprised Odom caught between a rock and a foul line just as the Lakers were scheduled to start practicing for their Christmas Day opener.
BABY SHOWER: Robert Downey Jr. and wife Susan are having a boy, but you didn't hear it from him...Khloé Kardashian Odom talks Kourtney's pregnancy.
WEDDING BELLS: Catt Sadler secretly got hitched to Rhys David Thomas, who got her an amazing ring...Jeff Probst ties the knot with Mark-Paul Gosselaar's ex-wife, Lisa Ann Russell...Sinéad O'Connor sure did a lot of griping recently about the state of her love life, but now she's married to Barry Herridge...Ellie Kemper of The Office and Bridesmaids is engaged to Michael Koman...
HOT OFF THE PRESSES: Lindsay Lohan's Playboy cover and pictorial leaked online and Hugh Hefner is predicting collector's edition-caliber sales. He does know it's not actually Marilyn Monroe in those photos, right?
TRÈS JOLIE: Angelina Jolie is everywhere promoting her directorial debut, going with Brad Pitt and the kids to FAO Schwarz in NYC, taking the kids to see The Muppets, musing on love, family and pregnancy in Marie Claire and talking about marriage on Nightline and GMA.
MUSICAL NOTES: Demi Lovato lets slip a nip onstage in Dallas...Jason Aldean and Toby Keith are big deals at the American Country Awards...Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beastie Boys and Guns N' Roses make the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame...Johnny Depp's Christmas song strikes the wrong chord with the Christian Coalition...Miley Cyrus performed "The Climb" at the Trevor Live! benefit benefiting at-risk gay youth at the Hollywood Palladium...Madonna lands the Super Bowl Halftime Show.
LAW & DISORDER: Khloé Kardashian Odom sued over alleged fight on the Sunset Strip...Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih arrested for DUI in Michigan...Hannah Montana's Mitchel Musso pleads not guilty to DUI...James Cameron sued for supposedly swiping the idea for Avatar...Angelina Jolie sued for supposedly pilfering the plot of In the Land of Blood and Honey...Hulk Hogan sues ex-wife Linda over her new memoir...Lindsay Lohan completing at least 12 days of morgue duty in advance of next week's deadline...Brooke Mueller's still got custody of the twins despite getting busted...Terrence Howard denies allegations in estranged wife's restraining-order filing...Kirsten Dunst secures a restraining order against a Frenchman.