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    Afternoon Mail! Which Vice Star Is Most Likely to End Up With a Homolicious Hunk?

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    Dear Ted:
    In your opinion which of these Vice stars is more likely to end up with a same-sex partner in the long run: Nevis Divine, Terry Tush-Trade or Crescent Kumquat? And which of them cares less whether or not the public knows about their bisexuality?
    —Sam

    Dear Sorry to Disappoint:
    Though we would love to see one of our B.V. stars get homolicious for the long haul, it's probably not going to happen with any of these three—with the possible exception of Terry (but never publicly). Sure, they all play for both teams, but that's supposed to be a secret, remember? And, sweetheart, none of them could care less.

    Dear Ted:
    We know the Twilight cast is Vicey and the Hunger Games cast not so much, but what about The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo cast? Any dirt you can spill, anything that went down on set? I'm thinking Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara and David Fincher must all have Vices by now.
    —Lisa

    RELATED: Who Is the Mysterious Nevis Divine?

    Dear The Girl With the Blind Vice:
    The Dragon Tattoo cast certainly has its share of Vicey behavior (helluva lot more than Hunger), but they have nothing to do with one another.  Especially the latter two.

    Dear Ted:
    Please tell me Crescent Kumquat and Jackie Bouffant have hooked up. If they could reproduce together, can you imagine their babies?! Anyway, you know how Jackie Bouffant cheated on his beard with strippers (classy!)? Does his beard have her own Vice moniker?
    —Hannah

    Dear Class Act:
    I wish! But hey, I'm not ruling anything out. Jackie's beard may not have a Vice, but her rep isn't exactly squeaky-clean.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Chuck Finger-Dingle Zoe Kravitz or Rashida Jones? They both have famous parents, both have been in big hits and both also do indies. Are these good guesses?
    —Annie

    RELATED: Blind Vice! Starlet Prefers Locking Lips With Ladies Over A-List Dudes

    Dear You're Getting Warmer:
    You're sorta on the right track with Rashida, I mean they have worked together in a project of the past.

    Dear Ted:
    If Nevis Divine ever met Seymour Plow-Me More, Parrish Maguire or Toothy Tile, how likely would he be to jump in bed with each of them on a scale of one to five (one being "Ewwww Hell no!" and five being "Mmmm yummy yummy!")?
    —I

    Dear It's a Guessing Game:
    Seymour? Zero. Parrish? Zero. Toothy? Now that would be a hot hookup. Or to quote you: Mmmmlicious!

    Dear Ted:
    I have a big crush on John Krasinski. Are either he or wife Emily Blunt Blind Vices? One would imagine so, given the friendship that recently sprung up with Matt Damon.
    —Jamie

    READ: Blind Vice: Gay Star's Clueless Beard Walks In on a Shocker!

    Dear No Vices Here:
    Sorry, babe, this couple is the real deal. But Matt's got an oldie but goodie Vice, since you mention his name.

    Dear Ted:
    Your response about Jared Padalecki's Vice got me thinking. For the sake of my imagination, I hope it's deliciously naughty, but for the sake of his baby on the way, I hope his Vice won't cause problems for his new family. Will it?
    —E

    Dear If It Ain't Broke:
    It's super-fun naughty all right, but I think his family's in the clear for now.

    PHOTOS: Blind Vice Superstars!

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