No one can deny that Survivor: South Pacific's original Upolu tribe is a family. But is theirs a "get up everybody and sing" Sister Sledge alliance—or are Coach & Co. closer to a Manson/Corleone kinship?
That's what concerned Cochran—essentially the Cousin Oliver to this Brady Bunch sextet. Did they adopt the bespectacled outsider or send him to swim with the fishes at Redemption Island?
And who would welcome the new Castaway: Innkeeper Ozzy or one of his duel opponents, Dawn and Whitney?
"I don't want to be Sharon Tate in this scenario," said Cochran, after acknowledging, "I'm aware family can turn on you at any moment…I'm reevaluating what I can do not to be taken out by the family." The irritating interloper begged for his life, but the Upolu family helter-skeltered him straight to Redemption Island—and duel dominator Ozzy.
Place Setting: The Redemption Island duel, challenging Ozzy, Whitney and Dawn to balance a stack of ceramic dishes on a wobbly arm, was anyone's game—but the ladies' hopes were dashed along with their broken crockery, and they became the third and fourth jury members. While Dawn was professing her love for Jeff Probst, Whitney was looking forward to reuniting with her boyfriend Keith at the Ponderosa Love Shack, Meanwhile Ozzy returned to his beachside resort, with another victory validating his bold so-wrong-it's-right strategy. "No one better is suited to be out here than me," says the king of Redemption Island. Certainly not Matt Elrod.
Coach Chi: Coach was delighted to "center and empower" Little Warrior Cochran before the Immunity Challenge with a tai-chi lesson. It failed miserably—both were knocked out in the first round—but they both enjoyed the winning prize anyway. Cochran lying about his birthday isn't quite Jonny Fairplay's dead grandmother, but like Fairplay he reaped the rewards from his fib when challenge champ Albert sacrificed his spa treatment to the odd man out. But Albert wasn't just being generous—he thwarted any plots against him by sticking with his tribemates and pairing Coach with the tribe's only non-threat.
Prince Albert in a Can: Edna was downright irked that Albert enjoyed a siesta while she hit the laundromat, and "sharp as a bowling ball" Rick (the guy in the cowboy hat) found his voice, honoring the "Barbie doll" lying around camp with a royal title: Prince Albert. But His Highness was unfazed, saying again that "some people think Survivor is out-clean, out-gather, out-organize…I'll leave housework to Martha Stewart." He may have annoyed the alliance's No. 5 and 6 fringe element, but Albert's hammock strategy worked: He won the privilege of hearing Jeff Probst say for the first and last time: "Albert wins Immunity and massage!"
Collection Agency: "I'm here to collect the debt," Cochran told his Te Tuna tribemates, insisting that his betrayal of Savaii "entitled [him] to one more night in the game." Sophie, who wasn't buying any more than her two-drink minimum at the Cochran Comedy Club ("I can see why people got annoyed with him"), has other ideas. "I don't feel indebted to you," she tells the camera after Cochran's closing statements. "Screw you." The tribe did indeed screw him, granting the "superfan" his "dream come true" when Jeff Probst snuffed his torch.
Next Time, on Survivor: Really, the whole hour should be devoted to the Redemption Island odd couple: nervous nerd vs. blessed-out beach bum. The previews say it all: A scene of Ozzy reassuring Cochran ("You have a chance" to win the duel) cuts to the veteran telling the camera, "He really doesn't stand a chance."
Does Cochran stand a chance against Ozzy? Who will become the Upolu family's first Fredo?