Dive in, there's not a moment to lose:
KONGRATULATIONS: Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant with her and Scott Disick's second child. Love it! Love them, love Mason, love baby bumps, love it all. Pretty auspicious timing, too, what with Kourt's new mommy blog and all. (And, seriously, did Teen Mom's Farrah really think she was making a point?)
H(U)MPH: While all roads pointed to Kris Humphries going with the flow after Kim Kardashian filed for divorce, now he has filed for an annulment and, if that doesn't work out, a legal separation. It's not a given that he's going to put on his cranky-pants and start battling Kim for money or anything, but it does make us wonder just how many legal documents we'll be shuffling through until the moment we write "officially single six months to the day after she filed" in April. (Kim also shared her new perspective on love with Glamour.)
MOMENT OF SILENCE: Comedian Patrice O'Neal, a warehouse player on The Office and a prominent member of the team that roasted Charlie Sheen back in September, died of complications related to a stroke he suffered last month. He was only 41 and will be missed by funnypeople everywhere...Plus 12 other comedians who died too young.
GRAMMY PHONES: Adele was nominated for six Grammy Awards, including Album, Song and Record of the Year. And yet it still seemed like a small number, considering how much hype surrounded 21. But no one did particularly better, Adele's six only being topped by Kanye West's seven (none of them Album of the Year). Adele was also matched by Bruno Mars and the Foo Fighters, all of whom will compete for top album along with Rihanna and Lady Gaga.
NOT A GIRL: Happy 30th, Britney Spears!
OFF HE GOES: Conrad Murray was sentenced to four years in prison—or less than two years in L.A. County Jail, in California years—for involuntary manslaughter in the death of Michael Jackson. The soon-to-be former doctor's probation report further lays out the gory details of June 25, 2009. Still thinking he can beat this, Murray has appealed his conviction.
KHLOÉ'S KORNER: So, a not-glamorous picture of Khloé Kardashian Odom made the rounds. Wanna make something of it [fist shake]?!
COUPLES COUNSELING: Sara Gilbert admits that the media got the jump on her blossoming young relationship with Linda Perry...Russell Brand makes light of rumors that he and Katy Perry are in trouble. Then again, he makes light of everything. Kinda his stock-in-trade...We hear Demi Moore is not dating skin-care exec Scott-Vincent Borba, who, though it could just be his creams and serums, appears to be much younger...Zoe Saldana's camp says she isn't dating Bradley Cooper. Too bad for her...Guy Ritchie doesn't have the greatest things to say about marriage to Madonna.
COUNTRY MAMA DRAMA: Just when you didn't know what Mindy McCready was gonna do next, she gets pregnant with twins and whisks her son off to Nashville when he's supposed to be in Flordia with his grandma, aka his legal guardian. Authorities picked the 5-year-old up, safe and sound, in Arkansas, where he was with McCready at her boyfriend's lake house.
BABY SHOWER: Lily Allen and hubby Sam Cooper welcomed a daughter...Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard are expecting No. 2...Fergie and Josh Duhamel are not expecting No. 1...Selena Gomez's mom is expecting a baby with Selena's stepdad, Brian Teefey.
WEDDING BELLS: Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland and Justin Miller are stuck like glue...Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler are giving engagement another go...Chaz Bono popped the question to girlfriend Jennifer Ella.
GOOD SPORTS: Prince William, Duchess Catherine and Prince Harry will serve as official ambassadors to the 2012 Summer Olympic Games and the 2012 Paralympics in London.
BOOB TUBE: Daniel Craig doesn't think much of the Kardashians' way of life.
CURIOUS: Orlando police declare Dale Smith Jr. their primary suspect in the disappearance of his former fiancée Michelle Parker, who went missing after they were featured on an episode of People's Court.
FAMILY GAL: Angelina Jolie maintains that she's "still a bad girl." Just not the blood-wearing, taboo-pushing, self-abusing kind anymore.
GONE TO SEED: Miley Cyrus' camp—including Kelly Osbourne—insists the 19-year-old was just making a joke about being a fan of the ganja at her birthday party.
TV LAND: Demi Lovato and the Kardashian sisters do Extreme Makeover: Home Edition...Taylor Armstrong writing a memoir...Jimmy Fallon's recording a comedy album...Fox reveals midseason schedule...Review of I Hate My Teenage Daughter...Simon Cowell, Pippa Middleton, the Kardashian family, Katy Perry, Simon Cowell and more made Barbara Walters' Most Fascinating People of 2011 list...Pan Am's bubble is starting to pop...SPOILER ZONE!
RECAPVILLE: The X Factor elimination and performance show...American Horror Story...America's Next Top Model: All-Stars...Glee...The Sing-Off finale...The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills...Kourtney & Kim Take New York...Sister Wives season finale.
MUSICAL NOTES: Watch Lady Gaga's "Marry the Night" video and hear the back story...Watch Taylor Swift's "Ours" video...Watch Beyoncé's "Dance for You" video...Adele's Live From the Royal Albert Hall is on DVD...Justin Bieber has X Factor castoff Drew Ryniewicz's back...Mariah Carey has Bieber's back in his video for his cover of Mimi's "All I Want for Christmas Is You"...Heavy D honored at 2011 Soul Train Awards.
SCREEN PLAY: Awards season is upon us, with Hugo topping the National Board of Review's list, the New York Film Critics Circle Awards favoring The Artist and Beginners and The Tree of Life sharing the thunder at the Gotham Awards...Ryan Gosling and Drive are nominated for Independent Spirit Awards...Epic Girl With the Dragon Tattoo trailer, anyone?
LAW & DISORDER: Christie Brinkley owes some back taxes...Mel Gibson gets a thumbs-up from the judge...Kim Kardashian may have visa trouble the next time she wants to go to Australia...Journey guitarist has moved on with Michaele Salahi and his ex is suing mad...Jesse Eisenberg doesn't want to be the face of Camp Hell...Jenelle Evans ducks jail...Tobey Maguire settled his poker lawsuit.
FAREWELLS: Bill McKinney, who made his name bones convincingly playing the baddest of the bad in Deliverance, The Outlaw Josey Wales and The Parallax View (but was a dear family man in real life), died of cancer at 80...Ken Russell, Oscar-nominated director of Tommy and Women in Love, died at 84 after a series of strokes.
SURREAL ESTATE: The Bel-Air love nest leased by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is on the market for almost $6 million.
FASHIONABLY GREAT: Victoria Beckham's eponymous line was named Designer Brand of the Year by the British Fashion Council...Debate rages over whether this year's crop of Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Angels were too skinny...Taylor Swift's straight hair is making waves...Kellan Lutz cut himself a mohawk...Mario Lopez is packing it all in for Freshpair.com...Britain deems Miu Miu ad with Hailee Steinfeld too suggestive.
GONE GLOBAL: Jennifer Lopez and new boy-toy Casper Smart performing (she sang, he danced) at the opening of the Morocco Mall...Prince Harry, back in the U.K. after helicopter training in the States, addressing the audience at a benefit concert for the Henry van Straubenzee Memorial Fund at St. Luke's Church in London, then hanging out with Chelsy Davy at the Brompton Club...Will and Kate making the rounds at a gala hosted by Queen Elizabeth to kick off her coming Diamond Jubilee Year...That was after Will's RAF search-and-rescue team plucked several Russian seamen out of the Irish Sea...Pippa taking in a tennis match in London with two mystery men...Cindy Crawford strutting her bikini'd stuff in Cabo San Lucas while on vacay with Molly Sims and hubby and Cloobler, not far from where Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson were vacationing.
SCENE: J.Lo and Casper also chillaxing at the St. Regis Princeville Resort in Kauai with Lopez's twins...Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark star Reeve Carney smooching Twilight's Ashley Greene at the tree-lighting ceremony at Rockefeller Center...Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale taking Zuma and Kingston to Yo Gabba Gabba! Live! concert at L.A.'s Nokia Theatre...Kylie Jenner and Aussie pop star Cody Simpson possibly on a date at the Grove mall in L.A....Kermit the Frog helping the Obamas light the White House Christmas tree...Bill Murray chatting up the Obamas at Baltimore-area Towson University's basketball home opener...Matt Bellamy wearing a plastic bag over his head while strolling with Kate Hudson in London...Kirsten Bell taking a dip in Hawaii...Reese Witherspoon, hubby Jim Toth and her kids Ava and Deacon taking the plunge on Splash Mountain at Disneyland...Teen bride Courtney Stodden not wearing her Sunday best to church with Doug Hutchison...Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux walking her dog in L.A....Ryan Gosling escorting Eva Mendes through Père Lachaise Cemetery (where Jim Morrison and tons of other famous folk are interred) in Paris.