If we had to pick a theme for tonight's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode, it might be overshare. As in, do we really need to watch scenes of the late Russell Armstrong attending counseling sessions with Taylor and declaring his marriage is fixed? Or "almost fixed"?
Yep, the awkward factor was high tonight. Especially since the ladies decided to (mostly) behave themselves and save the catfights for next week's episode—leaving the hour wide open for Taylor and her hubby to say all kinds of stupid things that sound far worse following their split and his suicide.
Not that the other hausfraus were completely without drama...
Pandora Vanderpump-Todd's wedding plans are in full effect. Mercifully, the gaudiest wedding invitations in creation have been transformed from hot-pink to white and sparkly and are now merely tacky for the whopping price of $15,000. The drinks are smoking. Literally. Hello, dry ice machine. The food looks delicious, if Giggy's lamb chop review is to be trusted. And Pandy puts her foot down over a RHOBH showdown at her wedding.
"Every single time your friends get together it's a battle," she scolds mummy. Bummer for Bravo (and the viewers!) but you have to respect Lisa's daughter for not turning her special day into tabloid fodder...right?
After all, the bachelorette party is already causing problems since Lisa's holding it in Las Vegas at Planet Hollywood and not the Palms. But Adrienne Maloof is so mellow, her confrontation with Lisa fizzles faster than the bubbles in her champagne.
Of course, she might have more to say after watching Lisa throw down in her interview session: "Watch out Maloof hoof, the Vanderpump is on its way to kick your ass."
(Oh Lisa, you're such a wordsmith. If the multimillion dollar restaurateur business doesn't work out, there's always blogging.)
Anyway, Adrienne has her hands full. There's her "practical" shoe line to design. Her words, not ours. (If you're a Real Housewife, fashion design is one of your three moonlighting options, along with releasing a dance track or writing a cookbook.) And then there's the accompanying fashion show and party to micromanage.
By the way, did anyone catch chef Bernie in the background, shaking his head like, "Oh no, you didn't," when Adrienne's event planner seems slow on pulling the party details together? Cue evil chuckle, 'cause you know Bernie would have gotten the job done to Ms. Virgo's satisfaction.
But things went off without a hitch. And we have to admit we were impressed when we finally caught sight of Adrienne's silver sequined platform. Not practical by any means but definitely pretty.
So all that leaves is the counseling session with Charles Sophy, Doctor of Osteopathy. And in case you're wondering what kind of therapist would allow their sessions to be televised, check out the good doctor's IMDb page. He was the lead psychiatrist on Celebrity Rehab and has also treated Paris Hilton, according to the L.A. Times.
Only in Hollywood.
Russell admits to neglecting Taylor and, when prompted, to having anger issues. "The good news is there's nothing that's happened in this marriage that's so damaging that neither one of us can not recover," he declares before checking his watch and leaving early for a business meeting.
It gets even worse when Russell, Taylor, Kyle Richards and her hubby Mauricio Umansky are all squeezed into the back of a limo discussing the tempest in a teapot with Camille Grammer. When Mauricio asks for details, you can see Taylor squirming over how to explain all the different versions of herself she's put out there: dutiful wife to Russell and Bravo cameras, and abused woman to her friends.
Granted, Russell's the one who ultimately broke down and took his own life, but it feels somehow wrong to watch Taylor scramble to hold it together even as her life implodes.