Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore

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Dear Ted:
I must say, I'm pretty shocked that Demi Moore actually filed for divorce from Ashton Kutcher. I kind of thought they were going to make it work. Am I just being naive or was there a chance that they might've lasted. They actually seemed happy at one point? Thanks!
—Sucker for Love

Dear Sucker for PR:
You're right about one thing, babe: they were happy. Just a long time ago. And kudos to Demi for finally filing, as much as she was trying to keep the twosome together it clearly wasn't working. In my book, she already scored a relationship victory by lasting as long as they did, despite what everyone thought at the beginning of their relationship. Now hopefully she'll grab a nice big dinner to celebrate.

Dear Ted:
I have my theories about J.Lo. Many men, several divorces and that infamous diva-tude. What's the deal? Are these men merely beards for her or is she truly unlucky in love? Any juicy Vice deets you can give us?

Dear J to the Hell No:
Ms. Lopez is a Vice star all right—and her BV is definitely a whopper—but it has nothing to do with loving the ladies. In fact, she might have better luck with chicks (I'm looking at you Eva Longoria—how steamy would that be?!) when you consider all the duds she's dated (or married). But, no. The diva doesn't do beards. You must be joking.

Dear Ted:
As a Supernatural fan, I feel my intelligence is being insulted. Everything connected to Jared Padalecki and Genevieve's relationship has been supposedly "leaked" or "hacked" from engagement pictures to a wedding pictures. My question is why don't they just sack up and release this stuff like normal Hollywood couples instead of pretending they have the internet savvy of a second grader?
—Confused and Insulted :(

Dear Smooth Criminal:
Because Jar and his wifey like coming off as a sweet little couple who don't want the attention of T-town, when that's clearly doesn't seem to be the case. Guess we'll have to wait and see which magazine the first pics of their new baby are "leaked" to, eh?

Dear Ted:
I too was shocked when Ryan Gosling was overlooked for the muy coveted title of Sexiest Man Alive. Bradley Cooper seems so last year to me! His "win" had me wondering—do celebrity's publicists play a role in who gets the title? Do they beg, plead, or even pay off People to award the honor to their client? Because it seems to me that Gos wouldn't care whether or not he wins, while Brad has been desperately making sure he stays newsworthy as his career begins to flounder. Love ya!

Dear Too Tough:
I think you're being unfair to Bradley, who wants fame and fortune just ad much as Gosling—and maybe not even quite as much as Ryan. Don't be fooled by Gosling's rough-around-the-edges appeal. It's all studied, to a point (I assure you). Bradley's actually pretty chill. I like them both equally. And, though I don't know anything about Sexiest Man coverage specifically, yes, deals with super-big rags like People are a dime a dozen.

Dear Ted:
Even though I'm not a huge fan of Kristen Stewart (I think I will like her much more after the Twilight craze has ended) I think her Snow White movie looks so much better than Mirror, Mirror. It's good to see K.Stew in a role where she isn't spending every waking moment obsessing over some guy. Thinking about her movies has really got me wondering, does Kristen's Vice reflect her badass, I-don't-care-what-you-think nature of SWATH, or her annoying, which-man-do-I-"need"-to-make-me-happy nature of Twilight? Thanks from a daily reader!

Dear Life Imitates Art:
Snow White's "who gives an ef" tude, definitely. She and Bella Swan could not be more different.

Dear Ted:
How are things going with Butter Pussy and her girlfriend? Is there trouble in paradise?

Dear Margarine-alized:
B.P.'s gal pal is used to getting the short end of the stick when it comes to this relaysh, more. Kissing Butter's butt has paid off super handsomely, as of late.

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