When Carter "Coon Skin Cap" Johnson witnessed a high speed chase, he quickly wrote a well-thought-out description to parlay to the local news station.  Then, Carter realized that within the detailed reenactment of this harrowing tale there was nary a reference to '70s TV shows or NASCAR. So, he quickly put on his coon skin cap and left us with this gem.

Think you have a better title for Carter Johnson's apt evaluation of an attempted robbery? Leave your suggestions in the comments below!