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    Morning Piss: Tom Green's a Turd

    Recently, we ran a silly little mention about Drew Barrymore's old darling has-been of an ex, Tom Green. Tom-babe was doing standup at a Hell-Ay club called Spaceland. Our trusted AT eyes reported back not too many chuckles and lacking comedy were to be found. As with many sightings round town, sometimes we mention what others have witnessed, not just us. Not only is this a fairly common practice in our business, the source is one we have faith in, truly. This was not some random drunk dick stumbling outta Silverlake.

    Next thing you know, Tom Green defenders, the likes of which I haven't seen since Michael Jackson's frothing-at-the-mouth zealot collection, are commenting out the wazoo that Green's show was funny as hell and that I'm a has-been, a "raging homosexual" one, at that. As if straight ones carry a tad more weight in T-town? Interesting homophobic observation.

    Green's gonzo types really do need to get thicker skins and some balls—no testicular cancer jokes intended here, promise. T.G. razzes for a living, think he can't get razzed back? What kind of double-standard crap is that? Half this effin' town is made up of has-beens. Lindsay Lohan's a friggin' has-been, you jerks. It's a badge of dubious if not infamous honor, and besides, we did watch the damn video (above) for ourselves.

    It's just that maniacal-screaming straight-dude schtick Green's always done. Not as bad as our first snooper thought, I don't think, but certainly nothing to turn into a raging heterosexual mass over, that's fer sure, so eat my has-been-around butt, already.

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