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"If you think Salma looks busty here, her character in Puss in Boots has eight tits," joked the Fashion Police host, pointing out that the actress arrived at Late Show with her plus-two in tow.
And that's not all. The hostess with the mostest talks hot bodies, pooping in public, and more!
So click in and get all of Joan's jokes that didn't make it on air in our sassy sartorial photo gallery.