Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: "There's a Lot of Cleavage Here!"

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Lisa Vanderpump, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Lisa Vanderpump, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Bravo

Snakes, bloody surgical gauze and a dead man walking. It's Halloween Bravo-style on tonight's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills roller-coaster-of-emotions episode.

But first, the parties. And not just Pandora Vanderpump-Todd's over-the-top Moroccan spectacular. We're talking of course about a reprise of last year's much-discussed bash...

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Little Kennedy's birthday! Aw yeah, it's time to celebrate Taylor Armstrong's offspring with another extravagant fiesta. This time around will feature a $2,000 pony cake for "200 of her closest friends," snickered the Rosebud baker commissioned to create the country fair-themed confection.

"I do feel like people have expected me to apologize for Kennedy's fourth birthday," says Taylor. "So this year we're going to have a big family day out of it so everyone can have fun."

MORE: Taylor Armstrong Denies Dating "Anyone from Anywhere," Says She Is Still Trying to Heal

Apology, schmology. We can't wait to see how the Bev Hills Housewife justifies this enormous ranch party as anything but excessive.

In a separate scene at the Armstrong house, the late Russell Armstrong entertains Kyle Richards and Mauricio Umansky for dinner while detailing his plan to uncover the tabloid source blabbing about his marriage.

"This is very awkward," Kyle confesses via voice-over. You said it, sister. It's the first footage of Russell to air since his suicide earlier this year and doesn't do much for his reputation except to cement him as a social misfit with trust issues.  

MORE: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Find Out What Kim Richards' Mouth Smells Like!

Then again, watching Mauricio's mom, Estella, go under the knife with Dr. Giggles (Adrienne Maloof's husband, Paul Nassif) isn't much more comforting. 

With cameras in the operating room (TMI, Bravo!), you'd think Paul would be on his best behavior—not placing a phone call to Mark Wahlbergwhile he's slicing and dicing. Name-dropping aside, it seems like a risky medical malpractice move for a doctor performing major surgery. But what do we know?

MORE: Has Taylor Armstrong Been Booted From Next Season's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?!

As for the gory recovery room scene with blood-soaked pillow and bruised and bandaged patient...hopefully that's a one time frightfest in honor of Halloween.

This much we know, future Botox parties are gonna seem tame by comparison.

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Thank God for Pandora's engagement party. It's an easy-on-the-eyes gathering of swans, belly dancers, snakes, a cuddly camel and lots of cleavage, according to Camille Grammer.

The champagne's flowing, Brandi Glanville is mercifully MIA, Kyle's on a table doing the splits, and Adrienne's making fun of her sex life with Paul (again). Good times. 

But you know it can't last.

MORE: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Kyle and Kim Richards Tag-Team Their Mean Girl Routine

Cue Kim Richards' top-secret and sure-to-be-scandalous date.

Kim reveals she's been dating "backroads" Ken for about a year since meeting him at the mailbox. Not even Kyle is clued in to this relationship, because when the sisters reconciled, "the last thing I was going to do was, 'Oh, there's this guy.'"

MORE: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: What Do You Think of Brandi Glanville?

Funny, that seems like an ideal time to tell an estranged sister about a major romance that's developed. Or was Kim smart to keep her love life on the down-low? Plus, why is she so convinced that no one is going to be happy or supportive?

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Share your thoughts on Russell's resurrection, Paul's goofing around in the OR or Kim's undercover lover in the comments section below!

PHOTOS: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills



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