Happy Halloween, you naughty boys and girls.
Still in need of a costume for tonight's festivities (whatever they may be)? Well fear not, loyal readers, 'cause you need not look further than T-town for some of the spookiest, scariest costumes around.
So we compiled five of these most terrifying celeb inspired costumes for your convenience:
1. Lindsay Lohan and her Mouth of Horror!
For the often troubled tart, her grizzly teeth may be a thing of the past (thanks to some pre-courthouse whitening). But based on the gasps and shrieks of horror that sounded when LiLo hit the red carpet sporting a messed up mouth, her teeth should upgrade any party girl costume from plain skanky to horrifyingly scary.
How to Get the Look: A blonde wig, a short little dress, and a set of those nasty, yellow plastic teeth that any Halloween store will carry. Oh, and a drink in hand of course.
2. Nancy Grace's Nightmarish Nipple!
Though Nance may deny it, her alleged nipple made a (shocking!) guest cameo weeks ago on Dancing with the Stars. And apparently traumatized some people for life. Like a pack of kiddos in Virginia that were apparently so "scared" of Nancy's wandering areola that a lawsuit was required. Another Nancy Grace inspired costume? Her rumored fart!
How to Get the Look: You're on your own for the fart, but either stuff yourself in to a fancy little dress and let one of your chesticles hang out or dress all in pink with a big, old censor star taped to your front (you may have a bit of explaining to do!).
3. Mrs. DiCaprio
Want to strike fear into the hearts of every chica dressed as a swanky Gossip Girl? Well then this costume is the one for you: Leonardo DiCarpio's mom! Remember, Mama D. was (apparently) the reason that Leo split with Blake Lively, so her presence should come as a fright to any chick looking to score a Leo-like mama boy on All Hallow's Eve.
How to Get the Look: Grab a dress and a disapproving frown and you'll have blondies running screaming all night.
4. Reformed Michael Vick
This one should be just as scary to you as it is to the four-legged friends you pass while trick or treating. Because while Michael Vick may be vying for sainthood, we're totally not buying it. So what better fakey costume than the one he wears every day?
How to Get the Look: Might we suggest some angel wings and a football jersey. Then just grab a puppy (a stuffed animal, puh-lease) and spend the whole night pretending to smooch it.
5. Robsten or Jabberjay Comment Spammers!
This one is for you loyal Awful Truthers. And we think it will particularly frighten (or just totally piss off) tons of you! Sure, all those nasty spammers who gush over Jennifer Lawrence over the course of 9 million repeated comments or start Twilight feuds for no good reason hide behind e-monikers, we're sure you could come up with something creative to honor 'em.
How to Get the Look: Grab some cardboard, paint it Awful Truth yellow, and write the most foul, nonsensical crapola you can on it (over and over and over again). Now attach to your person and presto!
Now start getting your costume in order and get out there and have some spooky, safe fun!