Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder

Jordan Strauss/

Dear Ted:
Please, please, please give some news about Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev. They have been very quiet. Do they have Blind Vices? Do you know anything from the set? I now you can do it. And if you give me good news I will love you forever.
A From Mexico

Dear Most Boring Diary Ever:
Do I really need to tell you that the vampy couple you should be paying attention to right now is Robsten? Especially since—believe it or not—Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are getting way steamier than Ian and Nina are...or ever will be, for that matter. All four Vices included.
Dear Ted:
There are three reasons to date George Clooney: He is handsome, he is seemingly a nice guy, and when you date him you get more press. I don't understand why people give the women who date George such a hard time for using this opportunity to advance their careers. I can't imagine that at this stage of the game any woman would get in a relationship with Clooney thinking it would be anything else.
Amanda F.

Dear Not So Fast:
While you certainly have a good point, babe, unfortunately I don't think that's always the case. Just look at Elisabetta Canalis. Sure, she wanted to be a star and used her post-Clooney status to land a short stint on Dancing With the Stars, but she also really thought she'd be the one to tie the eternal bachelor down. We all know how that ended.

Dear Ted:
If I had to choose, I'd say my favorite Vicers are Veronica Bee-Stings and Shafterella Shoshstein. Both are crafty broads who are only out for themselves. But if you had to choose an all-time favorite Vicer, who would it be and why?

Dear How Vicetastic!:
Too funny, doll, because Veronica and good-ol' be-yotch Shafty could not hate each other more! But I've said it before and I'll say it again: Toothy will always hold a special place in my heart. On a lesser note, crackers Chiquita and chilly Cruella are always good for a laugh and a smirk, respectively.

Dear Ted:
Barbie Sinatra sounds a lot like Christina Ricci, except I wouldn't call her "aging," would you?

Dear Flying the Friendly Skies:
Well I wouldn't exactly call her a fresh chicken—she's been around forever (The Addams Family, anyone?). But some would argue that Christina is looking more fab than ever on Pan Am.

Dear Ted:
So you say that it isn't OK for the judges of DWTS to call Chaz Bono a "penguin." Why is that? Certainly you have seen other talent-based reality shows where the judges have said much harsher things. If Chaz wants to be treated equally to the other stars on the show, nobody should give him extra sympathy for the judges being mean. I think by making such a big deal out of such a minor statement, we are setting up a wider barrier between Chaz and the other contestants. Shame on you for spreading inequality.

Dear Double-Standard:
Fine, if you want to treat transgenders and gays equally, give us the same legal rights along with it! Sounds good to me.

Dear Ted:
Is it just me or are our former Friends stars Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry looking exceptionally hot? I happen to still believe they are both good actors and just need the right acting vehicles.

Dear I'll Be There for You:

Excuse you. Matt LeBlanc happens to have a very successful show called Episodes that's gotten him nominated for Emmys. Ever hear of it? Less luck for Perry, but at least he's still trying (and doing fabulously with real estate). I agree on the hotness factor though—love the salt and pepper look.

Dear Ted:
I can't imagine Twilight without either Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart. We know that a lot of actors auditioned for the role and lost out, but I had no idea that Jennifer Lawrence tried out for Bella. When she was asked about it, her response was that she was upset that Kristen Stewart got the role even though she wasn't a fan of the series from the beginning. Do you think that Jennifer is more jealous of Kristen's fame or her man?

Dear Green with Envy:
Neither, because Jennifer has both. And an Oscar nom to boot.

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