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    Birthdays

    Why do we have to celebrate the day we were born? That's so stupid. I think you should be able to pick a different day every year to celebrate something you've done. This year I would pick Dec. 1 because that's the day I first saw a naked woman. It was my 87-year-old crazy neighbor who used to walk around her yard talking to herself but she was still naked. She also made delicious candy apples.

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