Does Lindsay Lohan's community service mean she'll have to be in contact with dead bodies at the morgue?
—O.A., via the inbox
You speak of Lohan's yet-to-be-completed work at the Los Angeles County Department of Coroner, a three-building complex that encompasses thousands of square feet and countless corpses.
So how close will Lohan have to come to them? So I checked into this, and the answer is...
No, Lohan will not assist the crime-fightin' medical examiners and their scalpels of justice—though I am told by spokesman Craig Harvey that "at some point, workers may go through an area where bodies are, or pass through a hallway where examinations are being done nearby."
More likely, though, Lohan will face an equally undesirable task: Bathroom duty.
"The people who come here to perform community service are generally engaged in custodial or janitorial duties," Harvey explains to me. "They also do some other tasks, such as laundry...essentially, emptying trash cans, mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms, restocking bathrooms, basic custodial stuff."
Lohan will probably wear her own clothes, not scrubs or a uniform, and will work with a small group under a custodial supervisor.
One particularly interesting duty may also come Lohan's way. It's all about plastics, kid.
"We use plastic sheeting to wrap bodies," Harvey tells me, "and that sheeting comes on large rolls. The service workers roll out the sheets. cut them and fold them so that they are available for us to use in the field."
Whatever Lohan ends up doing, it's not unusual for community service workers who spend time at the morgue to rethink their paths in life.
"I would be surprised," Harvey says, "if someone was able to walk away from here and not being moved by what they see."
Will Lohan be moved by those giant sheets of plastic and change her ways? Let's hope so.