It's always better when they're together.
Tonight's installment of Gossip Girl has definitely found itself on our list of the show's top ten episodes of all-time, it was that good. G.G. is always at its best when the entire group is brought together and that's exactly what Dan's (Penn Badgley) tell-all book did: bring our core characters together only to rip them apart. In a lot of ways, this episode felt like a season premiere, setting the stage and stakes for what's to come.
So how did Dan portray everyone in his scathing satire? And what scoop do we have on what will happen next?
WHAT WE LEARNED:
Lonely Boy Becomes Only Boy: While Dan's UES nickname has always been Lonely Boy, it's never really been true. He started off the series dating the most popular girl in school, Serena (Blake Lively), and quickly became entangled in all the webs that create the Upper East Side social scene. However, in tonight's episode, for the first time in five seasons, Dan was truly alone. Dan called his family and friends together to inform them of the book and invite them to a party in his honor, should they choose to attend after reading what he wrote about them. Here's a rundown:
Blair: At first, Blair (Leighton Meester) felt no need to read Dan's book, but quickly changed her mind when Louis (Hugo Becker) began acting all passive-aggressive after reading the book. Some prince, right? Turns out, Dan and Blair fictionally got it on. We were treated to a re-do (and longer version) of the couple's infamous first kiss, which was pretty hot. Louis chose to believe a fictional book over his own fiancee, proclaiming he felt "ridiculous" for trusting Blair. The only thing that's ridiculous is your acting. Just sayin'.
When Dan tries to apologize to Blair, she says, "When will you get it? There's no us, there never was," and says their friendship is over. Ouch. Way harsh. Not to take sides, but Dan was the only one there for Blair when she was dealing with her pregnancy and was an amazing support system for her. It's not really his fault Louis doesn't trust her, it's Louis'.
Serena: Serena, who is now all about her career (You go, Serena!), wasn't worried about the book at all, figuring Dan wrote about how amazing she was/is. Her reality check came in the form of a coworker who tells her that her character Sabrina was selfish and shallow right until the very end. And because Serena revealed she was the inspiration for Sabrina, Daniel Day-Lewis decided not to work with their production company. (Totally unrealistic, but we'll go with it.) When she confronts Dan, he's more concerned with making sure Blair is OK, which Serena is not pleased about. Too bad Serena's boss now wants the movie rights to Dan's book and will fire S if she doesn't secure them. Ruh-roh!
Nate: The best bromance in the history of TV is O-V-E-R. Moment of silence for the break-up of Date, y'all! When Nate (Chace Crawford) learned Dan made his character gay, he was totally cool with it because his character had "game." Nate's issue with the book? He was important enough to merit his own character. Dan blended Nate and Eric together to create Derek, and Nate blends for no man! (It was kind of amazing that Dan couldn't find enough story to warrant Nate his own character considering fans always complain that Nate has nothing to do, no?)
Chuck Surprisingly, Chuck (Ed Westwick) was the only member of the gang who seemed OK with how he was portrayed, even if his character Charlie Trout had the worst ending: he hanged himself. Yes, Chuck's character dies in the book, something he seemed OK with until he realized how alone he really is, telling Lily (Kelly Rutherford), "It seems like I'm always off on my own." Chuck has put up so many walls, so many fronts that most of the people around him don't even bother trying to knock them down because they believe he wants them there. Chuck Bass, redefining the word sad since 2006. Also, five points to Chuck for pointing out to Louis how he was acting like a total jerk, telling him, "Don't break apart your fact over someone else's fiction." Word, Chuck. Word. (Psst, Gossip Girl writers! We'd like to see more Monkey, who seems to be a Chair shipper, please!)
Rufus: Easily the most heartbreaking scene of the episode was Rufus (Matthew Settle) confronting Dan about his portrayal. Rufus gave up his music career for his children, something Dan criticizes him for in the book, turning Rufus into a "trophy husband who married for money." "It broke my heart," Rufus tells Dan, something no child ever wants to hear their father say. All the tears! Seriously, all of them!
Dan: The person who comes off the worst in the book? Dylan Hunter, Dan's character, who doesn't get the girl or keep his friends, and Dan ends the episode just like his character ended the novel: on his own. Who needs friends when your book is No. 4 on Amazon? (That was rhetorical, don't answer it.)
An Unholy Alliance: For the two characters too fresh to be included in Dan's novel, Charlie/Ivy (Kaylee Defer) and Diana Payne (Elizabeth Hurley), they were busy forming an alliance. Or Diana was busy blackmailing Ivy into working for her. Yes, Diana, who has her sights set on overtaking Gossip Girl, found out Ivy's dirty little secret and will be using it to her business' advantage.
Reunited and It Feels So Good: How great was it to finally see Blair and Serena interact again? We missed these BFFs so very much and we're glad we received some much-needed alone time with them, including Blair telling Serena she's pregnant. "You're not alone, never," Serena tells a worried Blair. Aw!
Serena: "I'm pretty sure this is how every murder mystery begins."
Nate: "Do I have game?"
Nate: "Oh! I'm cool with that."
Dan: "It's like, 2 p.m."
Chuck: "Valium then?"
Chuck: "I'd never use a belt. I'd use a chartreuse scarf. Much softer."
Family Issues: We're hearing this oh-so-very-sad rift between Dan and Rufus isn't going anywhere any time soon. Hey, the book broke Rufus' heart, so can you really blame him for being upset? While Dan's book is classified as fiction, it doesn't mean there isn't any truth in the things he wrote, or at least, what he believes to be the truth.
Chair Fare: In our most recent Spoiler Chat, we dropped a few hints about an upcoming Chuck and Blair scene (pictured left), which features an apology, but we can tell you it's not related to that whole hotel fiasco. Speculate away!
A New Pairing?: While Nate is still blurring the lines between work and play with Diana, recent behind-the-scenes pictures and stills reveal that Nate will also start blurring the lines with his new coworker Ivy. We guess being pawns in someone else's game could qualify as an aphrodisiac of sorts?
Holiday Cheer: The holidays have always led to great GG episodes (Whattup, Thanksgiving?!) and this season we'll see the gang celebrate Yom Kippur for the first time ever. We're guessing that's when Blair and Louis will decide to drop their baby news. Mazel tov, kids!
Did you love tonight's episode as much as we did? What did you think of Dan's book and everyone's reactions to their characters? Do you think Blair and Louis will last? Sound off in the comments!