Jake Gyllenhaal, Brokeback Mountain

Justin, Erik/NPG

Dear Ted:
Where is Jake Gyllenhaal? When he is promoting a movie, the paps are all over him with his lunch dates and his hand-in-hand strolls with various cuties. When he is not promoting, he disappears off the face of the Earth. What gives?

Dear Jake-aholic:
Not altogether true, babe. Jakey just supported his old Brokeback Mountain costar Michelle Williams for her New York premiere of My Week With Marilyn. But I'm sure he's about to get his butt to a secluded tropical pool somewhere soon. What I would give to be his cabana boy. Actually, Jake's pretty serious about his private time. He likes to get away so he can totally be himself. The Jake you see in public is so not the real him.

Dear Ted:
This whole Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher thing is way too convenient with his new TV show. Happily married guy image gives way to a persona more like a TV character. Am I warm?

Dear A Little:
I wish I could say you are entirely right (you are a little), but unfortunately, something is definitely going on here. The couple are sending some pretty strange tweets; Demi is looking ghastly thin and I don't think that's all for television ratings. More and more comes out each day. The "mistress" just did her first interview, so let's just see how this unwinds. Soon enough we will know what's going on...well at least most of it.

Dear Ted:
Which of these funny TV hosts have the most scandalous Vice: Ellen DeGeneres, Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart?
Hostest with the Mostest

Dear What the Hell?

Dear Ted:
Do you find it odd that Penn Badgley was caught kissing Zoë Kravitz on pretty much the same day it was announced that Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio had broken up? Are Penn and Blake still friendly? Their breakup seemed to have pretty much killed any chance at Dan and Serena on Gossip Girl.

Dear Gossip Guzzler:
It seems a hot, new Hollywood couple comes out of the woodwork daily. While this one, like the so many others, probably won't last, we should know by now that not much of what celebrities do is by chance. Coincidences are rare; hooking up is not. Ain't love grand?

Dear Ted:
Seriously, Ted, your boards have gone to hell. Just give the idiot Twilight-Robsten fans one board every day where they can go and fight with each other and slam any actress who is not Kristen Stewart and just give the rest of us one board that is sane. You obviously don't care enough about your readers to honestly monitor your comments section because if you did, you would see the obvious spammers. Either that or make them register.

Dear Spam Alert:
I know that the spammers are annoying you; they annoy me, too. But shouldn't obnoxious people have the same rights as us? You don't agree? Fine. The boards are in the midst of an entire makeover. Stay tuned.

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share