Angus T. Jones, Ashton Kutcher, Jon Cryer, TWO AND A HALF MEN

Matt Hoyle/CBS / Warner Brothers

It was the season premiere that ate its competition: 28.7 million viewers for Two and a Half Men with its new star Ashton Kutcher. But Charlie Sheen, who was axed by his old CBS bosses, did just fine with record-breaking numbers over at Comedy Central, which aired the ex-star's potty-mouth roast on the same night.

So who really won? Charlie or Ashton?

Well, according to Charlie's old colleagues...

Stunningly, it was Charlie.

Here's what two of Sheen's old worker-bees had to say:

"[Ashton] is really a nice guy. Just a nice guy. And he's OK on set. He gets the job done—that's what we all want."

If you're thinking this a slightly less than glowing review, listen to how another former colleague of Charlie's (who's also still employed by the show), broke it down about Demi's husband:

"He's just not as funny as Charlie. Not that we'd want Charlie back if you doubled our salaries."

You hear that?

The guys (and gals) who were having trouble paying their mortgages during one of Sheen's notorious AWOL meltdowns, do not—repeat—do not want him back.

They are very, very clear about that.

But they also freely volunteer that the show, in their veteran opinions,  "just isn't the same anymore," and that they find Sheen's substitute to be more of a "safe replacement."

Wonder if the rest of the country will ultimately agree with the crew following that huge opening night?

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