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Morning Bitch-Back! Can Lea Michele Bounce Back From Her Breakup?

Lea Michele, Theo Stockman INFphoto.com

Dear Ted:
I'm a Lea Michele fan, and can I just say that I was actually pretty sad to hear about her breaking up with Theo Stockman. Even we high-maintenance girls need love too. Do you think Lea will ever find another guy? And now that things are less tense behind the scenes, do you think she could talk to some of her costars if she needed to?
A

Dear Diva on the Prowl:
Lea will absolutely find a new dude. Girl has beauty, brains and all the talent to lure any Hollywood hottie. Besides, L.M. is way too cute for her ex. Question is, will Lea stick with her Broadway crowd when looking for a new man or will the red carpet vixen go the Hollywood route? Would be nice to see Lea find a dude who can keep up with both her talent and ‘tude.

Dear Ted:
Why is everyone complaining about the message boards? It's comedy gold. Please give these people the real world treatment. The ratings would be through the roof!
B

RELATED: It's Over! Lea Michele and Actor Boyfriend Split

Dear Message Board Reality Show?
Love your idea, and we do agree. A Twilight vs. Hunger Games showdown on TV? Ratings gold, if the über-obsessed fans don't kill each other first. Talk about a real-life death arena.

Dear Ted:
Do either of my former teen idols, Jesse McCartney and Aaron Carter, have Vicey ways? I know Aaron had his problems with drugs, but anything else? And what about sweet "Beautiful Soul" Jesse? Any dirt? Think you can help me keep my nostalgia run?
TeenyBopper At Heart

Dear Vicey TeenyBoppers:
We hate to brake your beautiful soul, but both teen heartthrobs are Blind Vicers. Two young dudes in Hollywood? Nearly impossible to be Vice-free. 

Dear Ted:
For some reason I'm getting a little bored with the last few Blind Vices. We've all seen the couples cheating, stars sleeping with people for roles, stars doing drugs and closeted gays, but do you think there are going to be any really juicy ones in the near future? I am thinking about scandals like Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass' law suit and Sally Pearlsmyth's abortion. Those were real shockers and for guilty pleasure's sake, I want more!
Bastiaan 

Dear Juicy B.V. Lover:
Trust, B, while the Blind Vices may not be très scandalous enough for your liking, Hollywood is still oozing with dirty secrets. We're just coming off summer! Fall means new shows, new casts, new movies and lots of Vicey drama. Stay tuned because there is definitely more dirt to come...lots.

Dear Ted:
Does Emily Blunt have a B.V.?
K

Dear To Put It Bluntly:
No, not yet.

Dear Ted:
I think it's hilarious that you wrote this in a recent Bitch-Back: "You remind me of all the people who tell gay stars to just come out of the closet, already, no biggie. For you, maybe." But then on the National Enquirer B.V., you basically out all those men as having gay Blind Vices. You're a hypocrite.
J

Dear Homo-Hypocrite:
Sorry, J, but we're not outing anyone, and we certainly aren't suggesting that anyone come out before they are ready. Blind Vices are meant to keep you guessing—we give the deets and then leave the assumptions to the readers. Nice try!

Dear Ted:
I wish the nasty bitch Sarah Palin would just be eaten by a grizzly so we wouldn't have to hear about her ever again.
D

Dear Harsh Words:
Don't we all sometimes? Or better yet, just send her off to dance with stars, à la Bristol. She may need it to revamp her image with the latest Palin tell-all's hitting shelves soon.

PHOTOS: Fashion Spotlight: Glee Gals

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