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    True Blood Recap: A Bloody, Sexy Mess of a Finale!

    True Blood, Stephen Moyer, Alexander Skarsgard, Anna Paquin HBO/Art Streiber

    Adios, Bon Temps! Well, at least until next summer.

    And while this season definitely had its ups and downs, we're sad to see Sookie go! But before we start counting down the days until season five kicks off, let's chitchat about some of the craziness that went down on last night's finale, shall we?

    So how did True Blood top last season's King Russell smack down?

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    Salem Bitch Trials

    Remember how Marnie took over Lafayette's body? Well it seems she was seriously pissed off at Jesus (Kevin Alejandro), like in the fork him in the hand, stab him in the heart, drink his blood, and steal his magic kind of way.

    Then she captured Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård)! And tried to burn them at the stake! And turned into a demon! And, oh my Goddess, things were getting intense. Until Sook's old, dead Gran reached down Laf's throat and pulled Marnie out, gave her a pep talk, and sent her to the other side.

    Kind of anticlimatic, no? Oh well, R.I.P. Jesus. We'll miss you, cutie—not so much your brujo biz tho'. We can all agree that stuff was seriously giggle-worthy, right?

    Sookie Officially Chooses...

    No one! See, Sookie "saved" Bill and Eric's lives (let's be honest, she really didn't do much of the work), let them drink her blood, and then broke both of their undead hearts. Because apparently she just can't make up her damn mind.

    So we'll say it again, Sookie: Team Bill. And the love battle for Sookie's "stupid fairy vagina" (as Pam so lovingly put it) continues...

    Like Brother, Like Sister

    Those Stackhouse siblings have a thing for the vamps, don't they? It wasn't all hump happiness for Jason this week though: he told Hoyt about his affair with Jessica and got sucker punched (twice!) for it.

    Which clearly didn't stop him, 'cause when Jessica (whose H'ween costume was slutty Red Riding Hood, we think) came over to see him, the two ended up getting horny, hot and heavy. Did you expect anything else?

    Until Next Season...

    Arlene's in trouble courtesy of a Felicity cast member! King Russel is back! And Debbie went and shot Tara (Rutina Wesley) in the head! Our best guess? Tara's joining the vamp ranks next season. Can you imagine the drama? Love it!

    So most importantly: what did you think of the finale? Are you already jonesing for another fix of fangbanger shenanigans or are you so over Sookie and her love life dilemmas? Sound off below!

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